Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'll be there for you..

There was a day when I was lonely, 
Weak I had felt, my knees wobbly,
Deceived, I felt, not knowing where to go
Such was my dismay, 
It seemed that life, on my face, gave me a big blow
You extended your hand, 
And you take a step towards me,
You took my hand in yours, and said,
"I promise to be with you, 
You don't have to worry,
You'll find be standing right next to you,
In every situation that seems a bit awry."


There was another day when you were lonely,
Perhaps unable to speak up, you still wouldn't agree
Don't know how you felt,
But being your closest friend, 
I knew you weren't well.
I extended my hand,
And I took a step towards you
You looked odd; little concerned, I said
"I promise to be with you,
And you don't have to worry, 
You'll find me standing right next to you,
In every situation that seems a bit awry."


Just a few days back, it so happened
Unsure of the future, I remained baffled
Friends we shall always remain, I wanted to say
but before I could say anything, 
you put your finger on my lips, 
"Ssshhh", 
"Don't utter a word"
You took a deep breath and you said, 
"I promise to be with you, 
and you don't have to worry, 
You'll find me standing right next to you,
in every situation that seems a bit awry."


And today, it happened again,
Lonely and distraught, difficult to ascertain
But I could sense that there is something bothering you,
I know that you don't wish to talk,
I am not in a hurry, 
Its okay, the stories can wait
But there is something that I wanted to tell you
Maybe you won't listen but I want you to know, 
That I promise to be with you,
and you don't have to worry.
You'll find me standing right next to you,
today, tomorrow and forever even if the situation is not awry. 

Friday, August 27, 2010

Mind Block

Does it happen too often with you that your mind gets blocked and you're unable to think straight over simplest of problems. Do you want to take a break and move out of the daily mental upheaval and all you intend to do is to go in a blissful slumber forgetting everything that eats your brain day in and day out. I don't know if anybody would agree or not but I am definitely in this state and that's the reason why I often feel out of place.

Bruised and battered amidst a dense jungle,
I find myself all alone, surrounded by
those hungry eyes tearing me down, 
razor sharp claws ready to pounce at the slightest of movement,
deadly venom dripping from their salivating mouths
and their famished stomachs waiting
for the mouth-watering feast to be served on a silver platter


This is exactly my current state. I have nothing better to do than just sit back, observe people and their unusual characteristics (yeah, right). You know sometimes, it is quite amusing to see the extent to which people can pursue diplomacy and at the same time indulge in telling white lies. No, seriously. It is quite amusing.

Anyway, this is part of growing up (vertically and not horizontally, definitely not the way I have been growing all the while)

And you, Mr. Blocked Mind, shoooooo..!!


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Absence

16, she counted on her fingers. 16 years had passed. 16 whole years. Her life had moved on. She had her own times, some good and some bad. She had her own memories, some that brought a smile on her face and some that brought tears in her eyes. And she had lived them all. Strong inside and beautiful outside, she tilted her head a little upwards and closed her eyes. A little tear that trickled down her face was soon lost as it got mixed with other drops that fell from the shower. Neeta froze under the shower. It wasn’t a good time to be reminded of something that always made her heart weep. But life has its own way of bringing back memories at times that may not be appropriate. And there she stood crying over something that could not be reversed.



******


She got down from the school bus. Usually, her mother came to pick her up from the bus stop. She didn’t understand why she had sent the servant today. But without a word, she let the servant hold her hand and walk her to the other side of the road where she lived. Winters had just got over and the sun was shining bright. It was a hot day and she wiped the beads of perspiration that formed above her lips. For an 8 year old girl, the 500 meters walk back home was definitely tiresome. But she kept walking. She could almost see her house now. A two storied bungalow stood in front of her. She did not understand what a residential colony meant but she knew that her house was different from her friends. She wasn’t allowed to go out to play. She had no friends in and around her house. The only difference she could make out was based on her father coming home for lunch every afternoon. She knew that her father’s office was on the ground floor, just below the floor she lived on. Little did she understand that her house was in a commercial area. There were no houses around. There were just buildings where people worked.
But today, it all looked so different. The shutter to her father’s office was down. She tried to remember what day it was. It was definitely not a Wednesday when her father had a weekly off. The otherwise crowded place with labourers running here and there was completely deserted today. With a question in her eyes, she turned to the servant, “Bhaiya, aaj papa ka office band kyun hai. Aaj Wednesday to nahi hai” 


Much to her annoyance, he remained silent.


*****


Neeta remembered the proceedings of the day quite well. She was a kid then, she did not understand what it meant to lose a sister. She did not grieve for a single moment. The people around her thanked the good old God for taking her away, for at last she was relieved of the pain. Born as a mentally retarded child, Neeta had always seen her sister on the bed lying like a lifeless creature. But today, after 16 years, Neeta understands what this loss was for her mother and her father. Deep inside, she wanted to see her little sister again. Today she understands how her life would have been different if her sister had been alive. Today, she understands the absence of a sister, the most beautiful girl ever born on this planet. Sadly, Neeta does not have any of her pictures except the ones which she has in her memory. Memory of a little girl lying on the bed who could not speak, who could not walk and but somehow understood every word that Neeta spoke. And today, she has an empty feeling inside for there isn’t any little sister who could hear her speak.




PS: This is a true story.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Whatever will be, will be

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera,
What will be, will be.

The first I heard this song, it was the school choir singing for a play called Que Sera Sera. And this happened to be the first few songs which I learnt to play on the keyboard. It was one of those songs which I used to sing quite casually, jumping from one sofa onto the other. A songs whose words didn't really matter to me. Little did I know that this song will leave a deep mark in my life. No, I am serious. Even after 15 years, it is this song that gets me going. Whenever I feel a little let down by the rest of the world and I have a lot of questions popping up in my head, my life automatically plays this song in the background and I feel so much lighter. Maybe it is life's own way of telling me whatever will be, will be. I had never really thought about it but today, I did realize it when my mind raced back in time. Life truly is amazing.

You know what, life gives us a chance to control the proceedings of our lives, not just in the way we want it to be but in a way that is the best for us.

Have you ever noticed why do the cars have brakes.

Or why is there a red button in all cell phones.

Or why is there an option to ignore the friend request on every social networking site.

Now, you know what I am talking about, don't ya..??

Life gives us all a second chance, we all know that. I have gradually com to realize that life gives us a hint, an indication whenever we are going on the wrong track. And only if you take that hint, do you get a second chance.

Trust me, it holds true in each and every case. With absolutely no exceptions. The sooner you take the hint and come back on the right track, the better it is for you.

PS : Today I finally saw Once Upon A Time In Mumbai and I loved it. I mean, I really really loved it. And if you still haven't seen this movie then you are certainly missing something.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Read if you have nothing better to do

Garima tagged me on this one. I have a lot of pending tags to complete. And if this tag hadn't been so long, I surely would have taken up two tags today.

Garima called it the "Father Of All Tags". 

Ten how’s:


1. How did you get one of your scars? – I dropped hot tea on my arm when I was less than a year old. Its not a scar but its a big burn mark which looks like a scar. 
2.  How did you celebrate your last birthday? Oh, I celebrated my birthday on two consecutive days. Lotsa things happened but lemme just tell you people that I got lots of gifts and ate like crazy. Whooaa.. Am I looking too fat..??
3.  How are you feeling at this moment? Had a puja at home, I almost feel dead. I think I am going to crash early tonight. 
4.  How did your night go last night? Just the usual, nothing great. Dinner, laptop, and my bed. 
5. How did you do in high school? Oh, amazing. I was always out of the class checking out all the hot dudes. I always knew I was good at that. 
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Coincidently, I am wearing a suit, my birthday gift, from bhabhi.
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Just 2 months back, I used to see them quite frequently. But now, :(
8. How much money did you spend last month? More than what my salary is. 
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? Now..!! Now..!! Now..!! Right Now..!!
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? Are you asking me..??
Nine what’s:
1. Your mothers name? Mummy..
2. What did you do last weekend? I think I was at home. 
3. What is the most important part of your life? Everything. 
4. What would you rather be doing? I can hear the rain pouring outside. Now you know what I would rather be doing. 
5. What did you last cry over? My dad scolded me for touching his DVD's. *Kiddish*
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Staring at myself in the mirror. It makes me laugh. 
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Does not remain quiet. 
8. What are you worried about? The ceiling collapsing on me. 
9. What did you have for breakfast? Porridge. Yummm..!!
Eight you’s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Oh ofcourse. I stopped counting long back. 
2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? Yes
3. Have you ever been out of the country? No
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? Yeah. I get red when the entire family takes up the incident that happened in Ajmer few years back. No, I am not telling you guys..!!
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Yes
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? NO!!!
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Yes..!! 
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Lotsa times.
Seven who’s:
1. Who was the last person you saw? Saw as in..?? Like, right now or the last person I was seeing..??
2. Who was the last person you texted? *picks up the phone to see* A colleague, asking her to get my recharge done. 
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? Shit, I need to take out more time for friends. 
4. Who was the last person to call you? My mom. 
5. Who did you last hug? My brother. It's his birthday today. 
6. Who is the last person who texted you? N (not the same as above though)
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? You think I am telling that to you.
Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live? 1 in the same city, 2 in the other.
2. Where did you last go? Office. 
3. Where did you last hang out? GIP Mall, Noida. 
4. Where do you go to school? I don't anymore. 
5. Where is your favorite place to be? My favourite corner in my room.
6. Where did you sleep last night? On the shit pot. Hell, what kind of a question is that. Ofcourse on the bed.


Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you? Do you want me to believe that nobody does. No way..!! 
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Yeah
3. Do you know the muffin man? Naah…
4. Does the future scare you? Yeah..Sometimes…
5. Do your parents know about your blog? Yeah…they know that I write but I refrain from sharing the url. 
Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Because I like being best friends with my best friends because they like being best friends to me too.
2. Why did you get into Blogging? I don't know. A friend asked me to. 
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? Long Story. And weird too. Gah..!!
4. Why are you doing this survey? I don’t have anything else to do…
Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be? Power to control the mind of the man in my life. Yeah..!!!!
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? I'd rather not disturb anything that happened in the past. Its only because of what happened that I am what I am. 
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? A cologne. I want to smell good if a hot guy drops in. No, I don't need clothes. ;-)
Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Hell, no. 
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? If it really is love. 
One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now? No
Now, Lemme tag Nipun, Sups, Sepo, Vandy, Chitz, Atul, Rashmi, Chandrika, Mehak, Buckinfastard and Anjali.


Others, feel free to take up this tag.