Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Spoiled

It really sucks the enthusiasm out of you when the surprise you planned gets spoiled even if it is as small as the one I planned tonight.

Its my bhabhi's birthday tomorrow and I ordered cake and flowers to be delivered at midnight tonight.

And guess what, i just chose a wrong day for the surprise.

Wrong timing, perhaps.

My brother got back today from Germany and the 30 hour journey (including the time taken between the two connecting flights) was too taxing for him. He has already dozed off. Mom and dad have gone out for dinner and surely they wouldnt be back by that time. Bhabhi too couldnt sleep last night. So, she too has hit the bed.

So its just me, waiting for the delivery guy to come.

With absolutely no celebrations at all.

So sad, very bad.

And guess what. Right now, its raining here. I went to the balcony and the sweet frangrance of wet mud just made me feel better.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

When there will be no paper

The world is going green. Every attempt is being made to save the trees.

Upset about the enormous loss of trees from this planet I sat down on my couch (the same couch which brings all the weird thoughts in my already rusted brain) and very soon I was lost in my own thoughts.

And suddenly my devilish conscience yelled at me, "What an idea, Sirji..!!"

I have finally devised a way out. Well, not exactly.

Let us see how would the alternatives be.

Wedding cards - I know, how the uncles and the aunties will feel when they do not get those beautifully decorated wedding cards with the mithai, ofcourse. Since all the invites would be made through the phone, let us see how would it be. "Hello ji, How are you ji, My sister is getting marriied ji. You will come, no? With family. Okay" On asking about the programme details, the reply would be, "Ji, aapko mail kardiya hai sab kuch. Do come, okay..!!" The poor guest will be at a loss for they would no longer get those designer boxes specially made for the distribution of cards, the same boxes which are supposedly used by the women folks to put their hair clips and saree pins. Sometimes, even jewellery.






Newspapers - The age old tradition of reading nespapers early in the morning with the entire family will now be forgotten for the world is going hi-tech by reading newspapers online. The time, when the humangous family of dadaji, dadiji, mummy, papa, tau, tayi, chacha, chachi and the whole bunch of kids sitting together waiting for their turn to read the newspaper would now be spent on the interenet (ofcourse, they would end up playing farmville instead). Just wondering, what would they read when the nature's call takes time to finally come out.





Toilet paper - Aaah, I liked this one the most. With the scarcity of water increasing day by day, you would definitely need something else to wash your poop. No, no, toilet papers wouldnt be an option either. Come on, don't forget that the toilet papers are made from paper too. But don't worry, you can always use a cloth. Or simply wear the diapers. Wear, poop and throw. Easy and neat.





Money - Now where would the green bucks go. Perhaps the barter system would once again be used. The dhoodhwala will be satisfied with a bear hug from the super sexy woman in the locality, the dhobi would want a kiss and the guy from the grocery store would wnt to touch her boobs. Well, I am not sure what would happen if the super hot babe goes to buy a big house. Or what wuld she get for her work in the office.




Wallpapers of semi nude and nude models - Ahem ahem. I can see those frowns already. If a bachelor's room is devoid of these posters, he may not learn about the life processes. You know, sometimes, practical knowledge is much more benefecial than the bookish knowledge. How in the world would he learn how to control his harmones in crucial times.



Let us see, what shall be the consequences.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Misplaced foetus

Foetuses are now found in garbage bins instead of a mother's womb.

Shocked..??

You won't be surprised if you have already read today's newspaper. 14 foetuses were found inside the garbage bin.

I mean, who does that mean? Where are we heading?

Isn't sex determination a crime in India?




This incident took place in the labour locality of Bapunagar Area in Ahmedabad when an anonynous telephone caller informed the police of the presence of foetuses in the garbage bin. The foetuses were half eaten, perhaps by stray dogs.

I will not be surprised if this is the case of female foeticide.

However, when I read more about this, I found that half of the foetuses were of males and half of females.

Perhaps, this is the ill-doing of some unauthorised practitioner.

Does it mean that we must check the qualification of the doctors that we go to. Maybe, not just check just verify whether the degrees do exist or is it a hoax. 

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A night to remember

Apprehensive, she bit into her nails. It was almost time for him to come home. And as hours turned into minutes, her feet were getting colder by the faint ticking of the clock. This was the day she had been waiting for. There was a complete movie going on in her mind, only there had been innumerable re-runs whenever she caught something off the mark. There was no room for any miscalculation. It had to be perfect. Paradisiacal.

Still jittery, she turned toward the room to have one last look. With her slim fingers clutching the handle of the door, she pushed herself into darkness. The room smelled wonderful. It had to do because she had taken extreme care in choosing the best candles. The sweet scent of lavender filled her nostrils. As the fragrance took the better of her, she was sure that the night which stood in front of her would be divine.

She checked the neatly made bed, the matching cushions, the drapes, the candles, the flowers and ocourse the carpet. Silently, she closed the door behind her. She was positive. No jittery feelings crossed her this time. There was just one thing missing. Just one. And it was him. She looked at the clock again. 7:35, it read. And then she heard the door bell ring.

She hurried towards the door.

Standing outside, it was him. His mouth opened wide when he saw her. She realised that she forgot to take one last look at herself in the mirror. But that's okay. His open mouth was evident of the fact that she looked stunning in red. The colour of passion, it certainly was. She gave him her best dimpled smile to add on to her beauty. "Hi honey", she said.

"Whooaa, you are looking hot tonight", he winked.

He bent down and gave her a peck on the lips.

Her candy flavoured lip gloss left the delicious taste on his lips. Wanting more, he licked them.

With an inch of separation, their eyes met.

She smiled. He smiled too.

Feelings of passion arose.

She grabbed his laptop bag from his hands and said, "You must be tired. Why don't I take you up and freshen you a bit". This time, she winked.

She took his hand in hers and took charge. She guided him to their bedroom. And then she stopped.

"You go in first", she said.

He opened the door and took a step inside.

The lavender fragrance tickled him in the nose. He knew that this sweet smell was definitely the beginning of something.

He caught her hand when she entered the room after him. He pulled her close. The only light in the room was a ray coming in from the corridor. And that light was enough for him to see the romance in her eyes.

He brought his lips close to hers. He slid his arms around her waist. She wrapped hers around his shoulders. And then their lips touched. He grabbed her upper lip. And they kissed.

Her hands reached out to unbutton his shirt. Starting from the top most button, taking one at a time, she slowly reached till the last one. He took her in his arms. She could hear his heart beating. How she longed to hear his heart say that he loved her. And resting her head on his chest, she suddenly felt secure.

"I'll quickly go take a shower", he said unwillingly. He wanted to stay but he didnt want his tiredness to spoil the night that lay in front of them.

She smiled in agreement for while he would be away, she would get the time to light the candles as well.

He headed towards the bathroom, took his clothes off and entered the shower. He looked forward to the night ahead. He loved her. He wanted this night to be the best. He wanted to take her along to the divine heights. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the door open behind his back. She tip toed, entered the shower and hugged him from behind. Caught unaware, he barely managed to turn. Standing there was his sweetheart, the girl of his dreams whom he married a few months ago. He hugged her tight. He then took her face in his arms and brought his lips onto hers. The drops of water came rushing towards them interrupting their sensous kiss but that didn't seem to bother them.

The room, lightened by the beautiful purple candles, was waiting for its masters to return.

Meanwhile, she caught hold of the creamy lavender bath wash and poured some onto her palm. Very erotically, she moved her foam filled hands over his masculine chest. She took a deep breath and inhaled the lavender filled air. This too was chosen appropriately keeping in mind his likings.  She rubbed her hands over the back of his shoulders and raced her fingers along the spinal cord. She reached down and rubbed him. Slowly her hands moved towards the front. She rubbed him there. He moaned a bit. Bursting with pleasure, he took the bath wash and rubbed her. With great tenderness, he caressed her boobs till her nipples got hard. He moved down and circled her belly button with the tip of his finger. Sensitive to his touch, she pulled her tummy inside. That excited him. He continued moving his finger aimlessly thereby making her inquisitive about where he would touch her next. She loved surprises.. His fingers moved further down. He rubbed her between her legs. And this was the moment he had been waiting for. A bite on his shoulder showed how she excited she was. They washed away all the soap from each other. Unable to control, he picked her up and came out.

Surprised, to see the lighted candles, he made her lie down on the bed covered with red sheets with lovely satin trim. He jumped into the bed besides her. Cuddling and caressing her, he pushed himself inside her. She screamed. Not with pain but with joy. She could feel him inside. She could feel the warmth of his flesh. They became one. One body. One soul.

The whole night filled with passion still lay in front of them

Completely paradisiacal, as she had thought.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

"Guilty or Innocent" Tag

This time it is Sakshi and Atul who tagged me. Okay, this one looks quite interesting. And my hands were itching to do this tag.

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.


RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.


Asked someone to marry you? Guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Innocent

Sat on a roof top? Innocent

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty

Sang in the shower? Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty

Shaved your head? Innocent

Had a boxing membership? Innocent

Made a boyfriend cry? Guilty

Been in a band? Innocent

Shot a gun? Innocent

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Guilty

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Innocent

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty

Joined a pageant? Innocent

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Had communication with your ex? Guilty

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty


W-H-A-T... It ended so soon... Gah..!! I love such rapid fire questions...

Anyways, now let me take the honour of tagging my beloved bloggers :

@ease
Shivani
Cathy
Chandrika
Nipun
Pratik
Sorcy
Kedar
Sepo
Vandy
Mehak
Tavish
Saurabh
Maria

Wow.. Now that was quite a long list... and there are so many people whom I want to tag... But I still have another one pending...

You kow what, the best thing about this tag is that I do not have to give explanations. Aaahhh... I love such objective quizes..

Waiting for more such tags.. :D

Friday, April 9, 2010

'Cherry on the top' Tag

Okay, I have been tagged. Yet again. Yiipiiieeeeee...

Okay, I'll start with the rules first

1. Thank the person who gave it to you.
2. Copy the award and put it on your Blog.

3. List 3 things you love about yourself
4. Post a picture you love (e.g. a person you adore etc.)
5. Tag 5 people you wish to pass this award on to

So, let me begin by thanking Garima for this award. And before I go any further, let me tell you guys that I simply love tags. Okay, this was just to inform you guys, so that you do not forget my name while tagging in future. You know, I am quite modest.
 

Now, coming to the most important part... 3 things that I love about mnyself..

1) I notice people a lot. You could say that I have a keen observation. I totally love myself for that. But there is one problem with me. I have an extremely short memory. All the analysis that I do is forgotten by the time it is genuinly needed. Thats the sad part. But since I love observing people, let me quickly forget my shortcomings.

2) I love listening to people. Sometimes, when I am on phone, I can't figure out what to say. I love to listen to what others have to say. About anything and everything in this world. I'd rather keep my mouth shut and hear people talk. Seriously, I listen intently. Thats a good thing to do actually. Okay, I may not realy believe what others say but I do listen. Every bit of it.

3) I love maths. Yeah, you read that right. Maths, a subject which majority of the people dread. But I love it I love numbers. My mind start working when I see numbers. I don't get confused when I see figures. And I am so proud of myself for that. Even today, I can pick up a maths book and start solving problems. Well actually, I am not good in mental calculations but the whole concept of thinking about the problem, finding out ways to solve it, that is what excites me.

Okay, now comes the difficult part of choosing a pic that I love the most.

But I took one pic out.

Tadaaaaa....

I am not really a teddy person. But I gave this small gift to my three best friends. And this pic was taken on my birthday. So, there are emotions attached to this teddy...

And now, the 5 people whom I want to tag here :


PS : I still have 2 tags pending. And I will surely do them as soon as possible. So if your name isnt among those tagged, dont get upset, I still have two more tags in hand.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

It is the cross dressers this time

You see them at the traffic lights. Most commonly. 


You see them when somebody is getting married.


You see them when somebody has had a baby.


You see them when you are throwing a house warming party.


They know the occasion and they come to be a part of the celebration.


Money, is what they demand.


And if you refuse to give the green bucks then you will be jinxed for they are believed to bring bad luck.


Yes, I am talking about the tranny, or the transgender individuals. 


Some of you might be astonished as to what a weird topic it is to read (and even to write). But seriously, I am quite surprised by these people.


Recently, we got a house built. Infact, the construction is still in progress and we are not even half way through. But we moved in because the builder was taking a long time to get the house ready. And we have these unwelcomed guests coming almost every single day demanding a huge sum of money. Any guesses as to how much money they have demanded. Thousand bucks? Ten thousand bucks? Twenty Thousand? Fifty thousand? No, thats too less. They want a minimum of One Lakh Rupees. Every morning, they celebrate our arrival in the new house by singing and dancing. They sit at the entrance of the door and argue with us. 


But, they do not move. And when they get tired of arguing they promise to return the next day. 


And the whole circle starts again. 


Sometimes, infact most of the times, it is a pain to see them block our way and dance. 


But what can possibly be done.


Will it help if we call the police? 


I dont think so. They have a complete syndicate. 


Do we pay them? A hundred thousand bucks? Cash?


And if we dont pay them and let them be, won't they bring bad luck as is assumed. 


And why would they bring bad luck?


Only because they have a penis and have breasts and dress up like women but look like men. 


Pardon the little knowledge that I have on this subject because neither have I ever googled about them nor have I talked about them.


Why are they supposed to have a "buri nazar". How does it happen? Though I have heard a lot of stories of people getting evil fate if they do not fulfill their demands. But isn't it insane to demand one lakh rupees from a person who has just spent a fortune in building a house. 


The worst part is that they know that people fear them. They know that people may be apprehensive about giving away a huge sum of money but they would still get it only because people do not want to invite trouble.. nahi to buri nazar lag jayegi..

UPDATE : Click here to read @ease' take on it..

Also, Click here to read Sid's funny encounter with the eunuchs

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Fool

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 9; the ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.



It was the 1st of April. This day is not just the beginning of a new financial year but has long been famous as the April fool’s Day.

And Deeya wanted to take full advantage of this day.After immersing herself into deep thoughts for a few minutes, she knew what she had to do. She picked up the phone and called up Minisha.

“Hi Honey. Guess what?”, yelled Minisha on seeing her best friend’s name on her mobile phone.

“What”, said Deeya, a little bit annoyed because she didn’t want her plan to fail. She knew that Minisha would go on and on and not let her talk.

“Deeya, you wont believe it . Sahil just proposed”, and she gasped for breathe for she was utterly excited.

Confused, and unable to control her anxiety, Deeya said, “Listen Minisha, I called up to tell you something”.

With all her excitement nearing to an end, Minisha said in a low voice, “Temme sweety. What happened. Are you okay?”

And then there was silence. Minisha could hear Deeya breathing heavily. She waited. Something was wrong with Deeya today. She was sure. Deeya has always been on her side. Always. Even when she was wrong. But her best friend always stood by her side no matter what. And seeing Deeya uneasy, Minisha forgot about Sahil’s proposal. She wanted to help her out. She loved her a lot. They were like sisters. But she couldn’t understand what could possibly be wrong with a girl as cheerful and as jolly as Deeya.

After a few moments passed, Minisha decided to talk.

“Temme Deeya. What happened?. Is everything okay.?”

Deeya cleared her throat. “Minisha, ummm…”, she stopped again. Perhaps this time she was searching for the right words to speak. “Minisha”, she started speaking again. “I have to tell you something. I mean, I don’t know what to say. It’s a long story. But, ummm… I wanted to ummm.. I actually wanted to tell you that umm.. that me and Sahil umm.. me and Sahil slept together the day Sahil threw a party in that resort.” Deeya said the last part of the sentence in one breath. She didn’t wait for Minisha to say anything. “Look Mini, I am really sorry. It wasn’t intentionally. It was a mistake. A terrible mistake. I don’t know what to say. I am sorry”.

She became silent. No voice came from the other side. Deeya tried to make out what Minisha must be thinking right now. Obviously, she must be devastated. She wanted to keep the phone down but since it was her best friend at the other end, she decided to wait.

1 minute passed.

2 minutes.

3 minutes.

It was then Minisha spoke. “I know today is April Fool’s Day.”

And both of them laughed hysterically at the little joke.


***********
15 days later:

Sahil and Minisha were discussing their wedding plans on the phone.

“Did I tell you about the lehenga I saw yesterday. Sahil, it was awesome. I loved it so much. I loved the embroidery on it. Do you think I will fit into it”, she pondered.

“I haven’t seen the lehenga as yet.”

“How will you see if you don’t take a leave and come to Delhi."

Acha listen. I have been thinking. I will take a month’s leave”, he said. “Is that enough?”

“W-h-a-t? Are you kidding me? Do you think you can be ready for a wedding in a month’s time.”

“Ummm, I don’t know. And how am I supposed to know that.”

Minisha laughs at his stupidity. “Awww, you are so cute.”

“No, seriously. How am I supposed to know. I haven’t married before. Nor have I had a girl in my entire life who would talk to me about it. And you never talk.”

“Haha. I will. I will. There is still a lot of time left for the wedding. We’ll talk about it later. But temme one thing. Have you seriously never had a girl? I mean, you are one of those guys who knows how to attract a girl. You have those looks. You have that charm. Its unbelievable that you never had a girlfriend.”

Sahil laughs. “Well, yeah. I never had one. Doesn’t it make you happy that you are marrying a virgin.”

“I know, you are not a virgin, Sahil.”

Shocked, Sahil said, “What do you mean?”

“I know everything. About you both. ”

This shocked Sahil even more. He became silent. He found it weird that Minisha knew all about it and still remained silent. Perhaps, she didnt have any problem with him sleeping with her best friend. Perhaps, her best friend was so important to her that she had to ignore her mistake. But it was hard to believe. He didnt know what to say. Yes, they had slept together. He always had a soft corner for Deeya and this fact was unknown to Minisha. That night Deeya looked ravishing. And it was the heat of the moment that had made them intimate. And today, he was glad that Deeya took it positively and was actually ready to discuss it with him. He thought it was better to apologize.

After a few seconds of silence, not knowing what to say, Sahil stammered these out of his mouth, “Well, yeah. I am sorry baby. It was a blunder. I shouldnt have slept with Deeya. And I should have told you. I am sorry.

This time it was Minisha who was shocked for she was just trying to pull his leg. She never thought that the little joke on April Fool's Day was not actually a joke. It was a confession. And she had been fooled.


The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Sorry guys

You must have noticed by now that I have not been reading any of your posts. Please don't think that I do not read your blog. Its not true. Its just that I have been really busy of late and find hard to take out time. Office has been really hectic. It wasnt like this ever. I used to read blogs during my office hours too. But its not the same anymore. Sadly, it will continue for sometime till I get used to the new system.

I will continue writing posts whenever I can. Please please please do not stop reading my blog. I havent read any posts since the past 1 week. Hopefully, I will catch up with all the pending posts on Sunday.

I have a lot to tell you guys. My best friend from school got engaged to her boyfriend. I had an amazing time there. And guess what. It has been more then 15 years since we have been friends. And she is my sweetheart. And I am super duper happy for her. Hugs and kisses to her. And to our friendship. :)

I am keeping this post short because I have to rush.

Will keep you guys posted.

I miss all your blogs.

Ciao