Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Hard feelings

Abhishek 22nd Dec 2008, 1354 hours
Sitting silently on the sofa, he tried to put in the missing pieces. Perhaps it was all a joke. Actually, he hoped that it was a joke. Perhaps he didnt mean to say that. He himself didn't know what he wanted. "Maybe I should apologize", he thought.  "Or maybe I shouldnt." He was confused.

Sneha 22nd Dec 2008, 1402 hours
She sat on her bed with her arms wrapped around her legs which she pressed tightly against her chest. She wanted to cry. Did he really mean that. She didnt understand. He had never said that to her. Was he angry with her or was is just a joke, she wasn't sure. If he had said that in anger, then she had to find out what had made him lose his temper. And if it was a joke then why did he have to joke about something that would make her cry. She had no answer. Confused, she buried herself into her bed and wept.

Abhishek 23rd Dec 2008, 0120 hours
He could see her online. There was a red dot against her name on his chat list indicating that she was busy. He read her status message for the hundredth time in the last 10 mins. "Frustrated with my life", it screamed at him. He knew that she had written it there for him to read. He felt a strong urge to talk to her. The cursor of his laptop hovered over her name but his ego battled against his wishes. He told her to go out of his life though he didnt want that to happen. He loved her. He really did. And now he was surprised what had made him say that to her. He wanted her back. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her. And that he wanted to meet her. To hold her. To kiss her. But his ego stopped him then and there. No. Perhaps he would just carry on the little game for he had heard that 'Distance makes the hearts grown fonder'.

Sneha 23rd Dec 2008, 0111 hours
She could see him online. She repeated his name in her mind. Again. And again. And yet again. She continued to do so because she couldnt get him out if his mind. And thats the reason why she was online so late at night. This was so unlike her. But she wanted to talk to him. She wanted to send him a chat message. But then she stopped. Hadn't he read her status message, "Frusrated with my life". "Is he ignoring me?", she thought to herself. "He sure must have read my status. Isn't he concerned? Doesn't it bother him to see me frustrated. She stared at his name. Minutes passed. She continued staring. And when she couldnt control, she typed "Hi" on the chat window. She waited for half an hour, but he didnt reply. Nothing came from his side. She was missing him. She wanted him to write something. Anything. She wouldn't have minded if he had scolded her. But she just wished that he would write something.

Abhishek 23rd Dec 2008, 0130 hours
He beamed with joy. Yes, she was missing him. He was sure about it. Thats exactly what he wanted. He missed her too. But it was too early. He wanted to see her come running towards him. Her simple "Hi" chat message had made him happy. But he decided that he wouldnt reply. Not now. Not for the next few days. He kept waiting. He just wanted to show her that he isn't replying. He kept sitting idle just to make her feel that he is angry. But inside, he was happy.

Sneha 27th Dec 2008, 1645 hours
It had been 6 days since they had last talked to each other. The only thing that she wanted was to hear his voice. And at this hour it was next to impossible. It was her last lecture for the day. Another 15 mins and she would be free to go. She wondered what Abhishek must be doing. Since it was a Saturday, it must be an off day for him. He must be with his friends playing tennis. She quickly did some calculation in his mind. Perfect. If she rushed after her lecture, she could catch him just in time. And then they would talk. This time she grew excited. She looked forward to the evening. "Abhshek would be surprised to see me". she gigled. Finally she would see him. She wasnt sure whether he would talk to her or not but atleast they would meet. She wanted to ask a lot of questions but those questions could wait. She just wanted to see him.

Abhishek 27th Dec 2008, 1735 hours
He stopped to catch his breath. Panting hard, he was remided of the day they had jogged together till their skin turned red with heat. And he remembered when they had had wild sex in the bushes of the small park behind her house in that sultry weather. He remembered the day they made chappatis together which looked like the maps of countries yet to be discovered. He remembered a lot many things and all of them  made him realise how much he loved her. He knew she loved him too. Instantly, he decided that he would reply to her chat mesaage today. Not a day passed when she didnt call him or send him a message on chat. But he kept on ignoring her. He just wanted it to be this way. Okay, decided. He would pick up the phone next time she called. He would talk rudely but would finally give in. And then they would talk non stop about all the things that had happened in the last few days. How much he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted her to say, "Abhi, I love you honey." And then she would blow a kiss in her own sexy way. Suddenly his phone rang. And it was her. He jumped with joy but since he wanted to sound serious, he said rudely, "Hello, What is it?"..

Sneha 27th Dec 2008, 1710 hours
She couldn't meet him. She wasn't sure. There was a fear in her mind. What if..?? What if, he didnt talk to her. What if, he turned his back towards her. What if, he shouted at her. What if, he threw her out of his home. What if, he had some other plans. What if, he has found someone else. The last one was hard to believe but it was still a possibility since he had been acting weird. It was so unlike him to ignore her. He loved her. He never did that to her. And now with so many 'what ifs', she didnt have the courage to face him. She didnt know what to do. Silently, she turned the steering wheel in the opposite direction. Her eyes filled with tears. She closed her eys for a split second and let the tears flow. She opened her eyes and turned left towards her home. She kept driving, her eyes totally moist and her vision blurred. She was so blinded by her tears that she did not notice the truck carrying the sharp edged steel wire ropes in front of her. By the time she saw the truck, it was too late. She had already banged into the truck and the steel ropes pierced into her ribs and tore her apart.

Crowd gathered around her. Someone took hold of her phone and dialed the first number in her list.
Abhishek - Hello. What is it?
Mr X - Hello
Abhishek - (hearing a male voice) Who are you. Where is Sneha?
Mr. X - Sir, I am sorry to tell you this but the girl is dead.

And he told him what had happened.


You know what, 3 days back, I decided something. Life is short. And unpredictable too. You will never come to know what might happen. The most sensible thing to do is to avoid fights. Small fights which may turn big. You never know. So, I decided that I will live my life happily with all those around me and all those who really matter to me.

Sometimes, you may be in situation when you want to say something to someone but the circumstances may not take your side. Uncertainity may arise and you may find yourself tongue tied. It is better to avoid such a situation. I have come to realise that it is not 'just my' life. I share my life with a lot of people around me. And I have no right to play with the lives of the people who share their lives with me. So, henceforth, I will live a simple life. And this 31st day of March 2010, I have decided to leave behind all the animosity I ever carried inside me. I will not carry any hard feelings for anyone in the new financial year. It doesn't matter if it is the beginning of a financial year. But it is still a new year.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


The wind was calm
but the breeze was cool.
I felt cold
but I was warm inside
For, today had been just my day.
A gush of wind went by
and it made my untidy hair
fall loosely on my face.
It was then I heard 
some footsteps behind me.
Clutching my shawl,
I wrapped it around
to keep my shoulders warm. 
I looked back.
All I could hear was the wind blowing.
This time it pushed my hair
back from my face
making my vision clear.
Nope, I could see no one. 
Forgetting everything,
I moved on. 
But the sound of the footsteps
followed my everywhere.
Scared, I rushed home.
And buried myself under the pillow.
That night I had a dream.
I heard those footsteps again.
I heard a voice too.
Warm, gentle and full of love 
It made me feel like a child.
I felt somebody's hand
resting on my forehead
And the voice said to me, 
"I was the one who was following you.
And I always will
Because I am the God
And you are my child."
Today, was indeed my day.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Is it really the end..??

She opened the lock of her studio apartment. She took one step inside and stood there, thinking. Right in front of her was an apartment which she had turned into her home, away from all the people she ever knew. She had spent hell lot of green bucks on this house that was built in mere 20 days. She didn't earn much to be able to afford an entire appartment to herself. But this one, showed how much effort she had actually put in. And today, standing at the entrance of her small world, she felt miserable.

Buring with rage, she slammed the door shut behind her.

She wanted to tear the upholstery and pull down the curtains. The vases, the Lladro pieces, the Swaroski crystal items, all these that costed her a fortune, she wanted to smash each one of them. The shattering noise that they would produce, perhaps will be able to ease her pain. Her hands itched to grasp the wooden chairs and hit them on the ground so as to break them into pieces as they do in the action movies.

Such was her anger that she could have destroyed her own appartment.

Helpless, she walked into the balcony. She pushed the thought of jumping and ending her life because she knew that nothing would happen to her if she fell from the second floor. If it hadn't  been for the lousy and money mided owner, she would have surely bought that apartment on the 10th floor. She regretted her decision now. A suicide could have been easier.

She sighed.

And it was then she spotted him.

He saw her too. He smiled.

His smile and the glee in his eyes did wonders to her.

She smiled back.

She didnt know his age, but he didnt look too old. It was then she realised how much she loved him. He always made her forget the emptiness she carried with herself. Its been six months since she first saw him. In his balcony. With his mother. And today, he stood right there. This time, without his mother. He looked at her. And then he pointed his index finger towards the sky. She looked up.

She sighed again. But this time it was a sigh of relief. A sigh which made herself gear up and swiftly forget the grey areas of her past.

Silently, she thanked the 3 year old kid who made her smile. Or perhaps he was just 2.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

How many men out there need reservation..??

My fellow blogger, Sid-o-Scope has pointed out why Men need 33% reservation. Written in Blue are the reasons why Sid thinks Men need reservations. And those in Red are my answers errr.. I actually answered back and the red colour was chosen so as to make my points clear.

Men demand equality, in all walks of life.... 33% more equality than woman.

1. Reservation on television remote control from evening 7:30 to 11:00
This rule will apply also during IPL matches and any cricket match for that matter. Also showing 2 balls per over does not mean we have seen enough and you get back to see the terrible torture of human beings (read: SaaS bahu / Reality shows or even Rahul ka Swayamvar)

Oh yeah..?? You are a fool to think that it would be possible. Okay, time for confessions.. We watch the Saas bahu serials because we really love the men in our lives. You know, we watch and learn from the sacrifices that the pativrata women make for their husbands. Haven’t you heard what Tulsi and Parvati have done for the men in their family. Yes, you saw that too. Now shut up and let us watch in peace.

2. Reservation on laptop / internet/ facebook, specially for those whose GF/wives/fiances are addicted to Farmville
Men demand it. They need equal rights, when the food is served hot and when we all need to lie down, it is not lying down that you are still busy farming on your farm.
My friends wife one day announced, let me harvest tomatoes quickly, I will serve food.

Okay, we are not a-social like you. We have friends. More so, we have a lot to discuss. Even our sex lives. So, when you see us hooked on to the laptop, we are just finding different ways of pleasing you.
And talking about Farmille.. Dude, the world is going green. And farming is so much in fashion. Why don’t you go ahead and get a REAL farm for us. Wait, I just remembered that you are broke. You should be grateful that we didn’t ask for diamonds.. It’s just a virtual farm. Big deal..!!

3. Men demand reservation to choose shops while shopping for clothes
Ok, first we need to know why you need more than one shop for shopping of one clothes? Why do you need clothes with so many criteria? Why do you need to shop after every three weeks?
And no, we do not understand a lot about clothes, because our requirements are fulfilled in three things Shirt, T-Shirt and Pants.

Maybe that’s the reason why you are unable to patao any girl till now. Pst. Pst. You badly need a wardrobe makeover. Gah..!!

4. Reservation in judging the cleanliness of the room.
Do you realize that the reason why our books are lying around are because we want them to lie around?
We should get a say in where the things actually belong, so the towel on the cushion is ok.
The room is looking fine, ask Garfield.

*staring at you* This is MY house. Clean it or else you will be thrown out.

5. Reservation in choosing the early breakfast food.We totally and completely agree with Dr. Phyll that drinking karela juice early in the morning is good for health...but it is definitely not good for mental sanity of the person, nor will it be good for our relationship.
Also, we would like to have onion parathas in the morning with fresh butter on it. Ok, fat-free butter.

Okay.. You can cook your own breakfast from tomorrow. By the way, I like my breakfast in bed.

6. Reservation in deciding which movie to go.
Righto, see there are many good, great movies screened in multiplexes. Please don't drag us to the movies of the chocolate hero. No, we also do not wish to see Twilight, again. we know you prayed last night, I become a vampire.

You know what, you are a jerk. Do we say anything when you stare at the boobs, ass and even legs of those actresses. No we don’t. And yes, we do wish that you become a vampire. Only then we would fall in love with you.

7. Reservation in choosing the beauty products you buy on my credit card.
Seriously if your anti-ageing cream worked it would get you back to puberty by now. Why do we need 5 different bottles of hair shampoo in the bathroom and what the green Gobar in the dish kept in bathroom? Why is my hair itching?

I know you secretly went to the parlour and got a facial done. And last week, I found fair and handsome in your almirah. That too in the locked drawer. Need I say more..??

8. Reservation in getting seat on the bus.
Ok, this is a debatable issue, but we want at-least 33% reservation on the 33% seats available for woman, you see, we travel in hot dhoop to get front row seat only to get up two stops down for you. We need reservation.

Pencil heels. You love to see women wearing them. Isn’t it..?? Lets see you stand straight in them. For just 10 minutes.

9. Reservation in deciding the limit of drinking beer.It is really ok for me to drink more than a peg and drive. I am not a drunkard, but I should decide when it is ok for me to stop drinking...err...ok... I should probably stop talking now.

Yes you better. *Stern look*

10. Reservation to comment on Sidoscope
As the fighter and protector on mans right, I hereby declare 33% reservation for men on comments herewith. Go on use the comment box without any fear of the lady coming and making you stand. :P

Awwww…. My lovely darlings. You don’t have to crib. You could have easily got that. You know, we are good at heart and we don’t like to see our men getting suppressed. You can have your way in this. Just this, Okay..!!

A piece of advice (to men, ofcourse) : SHUT UP..!! Do all that we ask you to do. That way, we will all live happily..


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dilwalo ki dilli

Okay..!! So, yesterday, I finally got to see the IPL match in Delhi. Mumbai Indians vs. Delhi Daredevils. And it was such a dissapointment. Gah..!! Obviously, I was supporting Delhi and so were the 50,000 people present at the Firoz Shah Kotla cricket ground. It was a sight to watch. The stadium was jam-packed. The crowd roared for Delhi's victory. But the daredevils, as they are called, failed to keep up with the expectations of all those who were there hailing for the team which belonged to the capital of India.

I am not really a cricket fan. Well, I was at one point of time. But the Indian Premier League (and the T20) could not keep the spirit of cricket alive in me. I somehow did not like the concept. Infact, you would be surprised to know that I showed absolutely no interest in the first two seasons of IPL and here I am planning to attend all the matches of IPL season 3 (ofcourse which are to be played in delhi).

Yes, I have suddenly developed an interest in cricket. I keep questioning my younger brother for he is a big fan of cricket and has all the figures and stats on his tips.

So, I was telling you about yesterday's match. You know what, I was quite surprised that all the people there were cheering for Sachin Tendulkar even when he was from the Mumbai team. I mean seriously guy. I had assumed that everybody would cheer for delhi and wish for the delhi players to win. On the contrary, it was Sachin who got the cheers. He came, smashed a few boundaries and the crowd roared for more. And his hits became bigger. Thats what I like about this man. He goes with the crowd. He makes his fans happy. No wonder he has become legendary. The dilliwalas cheered for Sehwag as well. But it was definitely not as loud as it was for Tendulkar himself.

I sat with a sulking face when the people around me shouted for him. I really wanted delhi to win. Tendulkar or no Tendulkar. Its delhi, for Christ's sake. You are actually boosting the morale of the opponents by cheering for them. But as they say, yeh dilli hai mere yaar, bas ishq mohabbat pyaar. So, we had to make the mumbaikars feel at home.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A new day

Sitting by the window,
I stared, with my mouth ajar,
At the sky so dark
and the night so calm.
I looked down at the sleeping souls,
Perhaps dreaming about the love of their life
With their eyes shut tight
But minds on fire.
Tomorrow will be yet another day,
Like it was yesterday,
Special for some,
But devastating for others
Ofcourse, the irony here is
Like every other day
It too shall passé
                                - Chanz

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Reservations, really..??

I happen to hate poilitcs. And every day something happens that makes me hate it all the more. And with this reservation for women thingie, I despise politics. I mean seriously guys, I fail to understand how this reservation will help women.

Before I put in my views, I want you guys to read what is @ease' take on this.Well actually, @ease has a keen interest in politics and I get all the political gyaan from him.

I was aghast when I read what Sonia Gandhi's had said to Lalu before the bill was passed. She had said that he (Lalu) will have seven reserved seats for his family (each one for his 7 daughters). I mean, are you serious? He will get 7 ways to take undue advantage of the full 7 seats in parliament. No offense to Lalu, I really respect him as a politician, but I have no clue about his daughters. There may be people who are more deserving than his daughters.

It is not a game. This reservation has really put me off. The newspapers were flooded with the happy faces of women flocked together, garlanding and hugging each other and rejoicing the passing of the bill. Good luck to them. But what next..?? Aaahh, I know what will come now. Our country will be in the hands of those women who have absolutely no knowledge (and no understanding) of the Indian polity and will be nothing but puppets of their super intelligent but yet the devil-like husbands, brothers and fathers. Yes this is what was needed for our beloved country's slow and gradual downturn.

And they will now talk about empowering women..!!

UPDATE : Also read what Sakshi has to say about it..

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Those wet somethings

You feel the drops of joy
falling from the corners of your eyes
when you look at your old photos,
the memories spent with you friends
and your loved ones.

You see the drops of joy
falling from the corners of the eyes
of a mother lying on the hospital bed
when she takes her baby
in her arms for the first time.


You feel the drops of joy
falling from the corner of your eyes
when, at the most stupid joke,
you laugh uncontrollably
and roar till your jaws hurt.


You see the drops of joy
falling from the corner of the eyes
of that son who
has just won that swimming competition
he had been so eagerly waiting for.


You feel the drops of joy
falling from the corners of your eyes
When someone very close to you
has survived a fatal accident
when you were sure that they would die.


You feel the drops of joy
falling from the corner of the eyes
of that girl, who was just got to hear
the magical words, "Will you marry me"
from the guy whom she always loved.

You feel the drops of joy
falling from the corner of your eyes
when you hear your name being called out
among the list of those fortunate winners
and u look up in the sky and thank god with arms wipe open.

There are times
when you feel the drops of joy
falling from the corners of your eyes
and you find yourself tongue tied
'coz nothing else matters to you at that time
and you wish that moment would carry on forever

Monday, March 8, 2010

Women's day; Yeah its my day..

I know this post was much expected. Specially when I have become such a feminist. Guys, dont roll your eyes, I seriously have become one. And since I am famous (or maybe infamous) for doing totally opposite of what is expected of me, I assure you that I will not dissapoint you.

Today, I will not write about what women folks are, how much they mean to the world and what you must do to make them happy. I will not even ask you to thank all the women in your life. I have already done that before. And obsiously, you know that by now.

See, the point is that men are equally important in our lives. Both men and women hold an equal place. Okay, I agree that men and women are not equal. Both are good in their respective fields. Not that men cannot do what women can and women cannot do what men can. Its just that their respective approaches are different. Both these sexes are equal and yet they are totally different. And I am glad that they are different, 'coz if they had been same, life wouldnt have been as exciting as it is now.

Men are more suited for being harsh. Their physical appearance is totally in sync with what they are born to be. They are required to protect the women folks. They have to be strong. Their muscles form easily. They have bigger bodies in terms of height, weight and shape. They enjoy roughness. They play reckless sports. They understand politics and economics better. Men are different.

On the other hand women are gentle. They understand love, relationships. They like to take care of people around them. They believe in solving problems through sweet talks. Their bodies are made soft. Their muscles take time to form. But, they have the capability of thinking about multiple topics simultaneously. Their brains are more developed. Well actually, I read somewhere that women use both the left and the right side of the brain, something which men can't do. So women are also different.

But when they are together, life becomes so much more interesting. Its amazing that together men and women can come up with what is called the greatest creations of God. This world would have ceased to exist if Adam and Eve had not made their separate bodies come together as one. The moments of extreme pleasure which the two sexes spend together and unite as one, is nothing but the purest form of love which can ever exist. You cannot creat sperms in a laboratory, nor can u create eggs. You need a man and a woman to do so. Science may have advanced many folds but it still needs a man's sperms and a woman's eggs to carry out the scientific reproduction.

We celebrate men's day and women's day both. I remember that I thanked all the men in my life on International men's Day in one of my posts, (Click here to read). Both the sexes need to be appreciated, not just on one single occasion but every single day, for it is the combined action of both of them that we continue to live.

Okay, now that I have taken a neutral stand, I cannot control myself from talking about women (see, I told you that I have become a feminist). So, read this excerpt from Maya Angelou's poem Phenomenal Women

It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
                                                - Maya Angelou

Now, time to confess. I really did not know what to write on Women's Day today. But as I started writing, the emotions flowed. And I am not reading my post because I don't want to edit anything. I just want it to be the way it all come to my mind. I hope you had a nice read.

Maybe I am not such a feminist after all. :D

By the way, please feel free to send me women's day greetings and ofcourse fresh flowers. See, I dont really want to burden you to choose between all those lovely flowers. So to ease your difficulty, ummm.. I love carnations. And lilies too.

Have a wonderful day, women.

And men too.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Time Travel

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 8; the eighth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Very soon she entered into a state of trance.

"What do you see?"

"I see myself standing in the queue. My feet burning in that heat." She stopped. She looked tired.

"I am fully drenched. My saree is soaked in water and it is weighing me down", she said.

"What kind of a queue is that?"

"I am waiting to fill the two pots with water. I have to hurry. My children must be hungry. He will not give them food. I have to go. But I cant go without the water. And there is a long queue. I feel dizzy. No, I cant feel weak. I have to be strong. For my children. I must wait for my turn."

She spoke hurriedly but her sentences were short. She looked uneasy. Her last 3-4 sentences came almost like a whisper.

"Tell me more. What will you do when you go home? Who all are there at your home?"

"Sulekha and Ram, my two children. And he will also be there. Sitting in the room, drinking. I must hurry. Or else he will beat me up. He will beat the children too."

"Why does he beat you?"

"Because I dont give him the money." She looked worried. And then she started talking again, "If I do, then he will drink more. There will be no food for us then. My children will go hungry."

"Why don't you leave him then?"

"No, I cannot do that. I have no one in this world. I will not have a place to live. Where will my children live."

"How old are you? How old are your children?"

"I am 17. Sulekha is 5 and Ram is 3."

She was again silent. I asked her to go ahead and progress in that lifetime.

"My husband died. We are going to burn his body. My children dont want that. They want to throw his body in that big field outside our village. The birds will eat him. But I cant tell them that the villagers will not let that happen."

"What will happen after that?, I aksed her.

She was silent. I could see tears coming from the corner of her eyes.

I grew worried. I wanted to take her out of this trance but I was still curious what will happen to her. I had to know. She was my patient. And I had hypnotised her at my own risk. I had no clue as to which lifetime had she traversed into. I quitely waited for her to speak. But she did not. She was sobbing. I didnt know what to do. She had agreed to be hypnotised. But none of knew that she would go back in time to one of the lifetimes that she had already lived.

I decided to take her out of this state but then suddenly she spoke, "I don't know what will happen to my children. I am scared."

"Why are you scared? You will go back to them after the funeral."

"No, I will not. I will be burnt with his dead body."

"But why?"

"Sati," she said meekly.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Fear of the unknown

While I was reading the newspaper this morning, I came across an article in supplement section Shine weekly of Hindustan Times. Grab a copy to read it.

Heard about The Flying Wallendas?

Wallenda Factor refers to the fear of falling or failing. Well actually, this term is more often used for Karl Wallenda who fell to his death in 1978 while traversing a 75 foot high wire stretched over 37 meters hung between two towers in Puerto Rico. The Wallenda family is famous for carrying out death-defying stunts without a safety net.

They say, Karl Wallenda died because of the speed of wind that exceeded 48 kilometers per hour. However, his wife gave a different reason. Fear. She stated that Karl had personally supervised the installation of the tightrope, something which he had never done before. Three months prior to this, he had feared falling. And this was the reason why he fell.

Remember, I had written a post sometime back about The Law of Attraction. Though I had despised the fact and that is my personal view but for those who entirely believe in it, I think this example of Karl Wallenda is quite apt. If I have to explain it in very simple words then, Wallenda feared a fall and hence he attracted that thought towards him. Therefore he was destined to fall.

The same thing happens with us. When we think about our fears day in and day out, we are actually attracting that thought towards us. Eventually, that thought becomes a part of our system and hence becomes our fate.

When an individual gets fame and power, he fears that he will lose it one day. And it happens with everything that you own. As you grow, you develop a fear of losing what you already have. So you tend to become manipulative towards it. You take calculative steps because, somewhere deep inside, you have a fear that if you take one wrong step, you will lose everything. When Karl Wallenda had nothing to lose, he gave his best shots. He belived in himself. He knew that he was good. He knew that he would achieve the unachievable. However, when we gained recognition, he feared losing it. He was now scared of something which he never was. Falling.

This fear of the unknown, sometimes, can be fatal. Just like it was in the case of Wallenda.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Food for my eyes and ears

Yes, I could finally see things clearly this holi. I could see everybody. Even those who had secret intentions of putting colour on me. But I could see them coming towards me. Absolutely clear. Yay..!! Finally, after years of having a blurred vision, I could see clearly this holi. Every Holi was spent with a vision that didnt let me see clearly. And after I got a lasik surgery done last year, holi was much much colourful this time. And I loved it.

Anyways, I was sitting quite vella at home. And guess what. I found my skteching book.

Its been ages since I used my pencils.

(Left -ship, and Above- tree) I am sure many of you must have seen this tree and this boat. A lot of people interested in art make these.

(Above) I dont know but I really love this one. I love the girl. I remember making this one atleast 5-6 times. Sadly, I have just one copy with me.


(Right )And This one is so different.
Though it didnt come out so well.
But when you are the creator,
you tend to love everything you create.

And some of my paintings :

I tried to copy this one from a famous artist. The original painting is still there in my Nani's house. I couldnt really make it so well.

(Below) : Simple wax crayons. I am not really                                                   (Below) Water colours.
a fan of animals when it comes to art.
I dont know, but I felt quite low on seeing these. I realised how much I waste my time. Its not that I saw these after a long time. I have been seeing them time and again. But I realised that there are things which I am so damn passionate about and still they are being neglected in the day-to-day life. I felt sad. I really wanted to take up painting as a hobby. A full time hobby. Or even a source of income.

All the above paintings and sketches that you saw, they are just a copy from some painting books which every other person who is even a little interested in this field, owns. I am sure, you must have already seen these somewhere or the other. But my heart is in them. And they are so dear to me.

You know what. The last time I made something was way back in 2004. If u click on these pics, you can see the date on them. 2002, 2003, 2004. None after that. And yesterday, I felt the urge to make one. And I did it.

I made this one yesterday. After 5 years. And I felt on top of the world. I felt so close to my paintings. Yet again.

And when I showed it to my mom, I was dumbfounded by what I heard. And if I tell you, there will be surprised gazes all around. Okay. She asked me to leave everything, like job, studies, everyting. And do what I always wanted to do.

Yes. This.

All these years I really wanted my folks to say it. But the reality is so much different. I think I am too late to take it up as a profession. I have never had a formal training. I never went to art classes. Though I always wanted to join one. I know myself. I know my flaws. I have too many. And now I am just too out of practice. While I made this sketch yesterday, the curves didnt come naturally to me as they used to come earlier. It would take years of training to be able to take it up entirely.

How I wish, my parents had said it earlier. Trust me, I would have taken it up. For sure.

But now..

I have to think...

PS: I haven't read even a single blog since the past 3 days. Dont worry guys, I will make it up by tomorrow. :)