Tuesday, November 23, 2010

It is not just about PMS

Disclaimer: All that you read here is merely based on a thought. I wouldn't say that it is fictitious. I am sure that it would have happened to a lot of people. Only, nothing of this sort happened to me or anyone I know, in the recent past. It is my own thought which originated from a healthy discussion in the office. 

A thought struck me today. I found it to be somewhat weird. It made me confused and I became a little biased towards things which I strongly feel about. I am sure it happens to you too. Well, actually I know that it happens to almost everybody but I am on the quest to find out 'WHY' it happens.

Today, our gang of girls in the office were discussing about premenstrual stress and it's effects on women. This is not my topic of discussion and I have absolutely no queries regarding this. But, it is the behaviour of women and their reactions towards other women, which is unclear to me. Let me explain with an example. A woman is suffering from premenstrual stress. She tells other women about it, who become sympathetic towards her. They understand her pain and help her in every possible way to make her feel comfortable and lessen the burden from her shoulders. More so, if this woman has a lady boss above her, she too would do something about it even if it is a small gesture of showing concern. Infact, if you ask my view point, I too would help any woman even if I do not share good terms with her.

But if the same woman is suffering from a chronic disease like Bronchitis or maybe even Cervical pain, there will be very few people, even women who wouldn't get up to show a bit of concern. In this case, nobody will lessen the burden even if she is feeling breathless because of an asthma attack. They would just sit back as if it were a routine proceeding. They would rather expect her to use an inhaler and get back to her senses within seconds. If I have to compare premenstrual stress with Asthma, I would rate Asthma to be a disease which is more uncomfortable and intolerable than PMS.

I mean, seriously. Okay, let me not revolve my discussions around women. Let me talk about human beings, in general. Men also suffer from diseases like Asthma. Okay, let me get back and talk about myself. I suffer from severe migraine. I know how it feels when people tell me to stop enacting a headache and get beck to work. The intensity of pain that I get during a migraine is much more than any pain that I have experienced till date. It is not amusing when people make fun of my headache by saying that I get it when I am overburdened. Come on, people. Migraine is so uncomfortable that a person cannot even nod his/her head. Similarly, during an asthma attack, the person feels breatheless, How do you expect them to work when they are not even able to breathe properly.

The simplest of reason which I understand is that people relate to things and situations which they have either seen or strongly feel about. People with asthma would easily relate with those who suffer from it. I would better understand the situation of a person suffering from migraine rather than a person who is suffering from Asthma. However, every woman understand the premenstrual stress irrelevant of the fact that she gets it or not. Infact, even men understand the pain that it causes and give every woman a benefit of doubt in this regard.

What I do not understand is that where does the sympathy go when we suffer from every other disease except PMS. I do not understand why does the boss force his/her employees to work overtime even in the case of breathlessness or a chronic headache. I really wish to find an answer to these question. What drives the behaviour of people in such cases? I don't know if such cases happen with men too. I mean, men understanding the problems that only men face. Tell me what you guys think. Or if you have a similar situation to share, then let me know. Or if you know the answers to my questions.


@ease said...

a very valid question... but you also have the answer.

Human brains respond to those suffering which they have been through....easily....and thus respond pro-actively.

Chanz said...

Well, it isnt just about suffering it yourself... If you've seen others suffering, u respond accordingly.. Just like they say, "u learn from the mistakes of others"

Sakshi said...

Very valid question here, but thanks to the major bahanaas that the employees use, a normal disease is overlooked. PMSing is something that happens to the women every month so sorta- weirdly is more acceptable!

But you are right- Life is funny and people even more!

Banupriya said...

I some how have a different thought. PMS comes every month for every women in this world. So its more kind of general and it is looked upon very ordinary and needs no special sympathy.

But ailments like Migraine and Asthma are definitely to be considered worse coz you donot know how much pain the other person has and as far as I react if I am the boss, i shall be more sympathising to these ailments than the regular PMS.

Rashmi said...

I think we as humans only respond to issues which concerns us or had in past...its the theory of relativity which functions at the core.

Aparna said...

I think as most women have gone trough PMS or some other similar problems, we can understand and empathize. I have not suffered form migraine, so when my husband has one attack, it is not possible for me to really understand just how much does it hurt. Though I can see from his expression that it is excruciating. Similarly I can never explain to him about the pain of childbirth.
If we all knew how to empathize, the world would be a better place, right?

Rashmi said...

I don't know what i wrote, i am in a totally zonked out mode...sorry if i digressed completely :|

Anonymous said...

Its like - a male boss would not be able to understand why a female subordinate is behaving weird and getting irritated at the smallest of the things.

You answered it yourself - People tend to relate to situations (or disorders) that they themselves are or have been in.
And PMS is something that all every women can atleast understand if not face.

supriya said...

Coincidently Chanz... I was just thinking to write something similar to this topic today. Its really very true. But I disagree with you on one point. Its not that all male bosses consider only PMS as a disease for ALL girls...
There are certain Miss Oooomph-a-little ladies who can even make their bosses feel their sneeze no lesser than Brain Tumor.
But yes..atleast I do expect from females not to make PMS as the first issue because they know and they can compare.
Rest...no one can change anybody else. Its the sensibility that counts!

Pythoroshan said...

during my pg life, I broke my arm... believe it or not, I wasnt given a single day's leave.. I worked 6 weeks in the operation theatre with a cast !!
Sometimes, being around pain a lot too can have a minus effect : people tend to take suffering for granted.