Guys, you know what, I have this burning desire to live a very simple life. I was just trying to imagine myself in it. A life in which there is nothing much to think about. A life in which I do not have to deal with the complexities that otherwise come free with the surroundings and the people living in it. I don't just want a simple life, but a simple mind too.
I have an image in my mind of a simple life. And that is something I crave for. Yes, crave is the right word. Hunger is what I can relate it too. A hunger to make my life simple.
I often imagine myself living in a house all by myself. A house built the way I want it to be. Every nook and corner to be decorated according to my likings. I yearn to be lost in my thought probably working on a story, a piece of fiction. Sitting in the balcony, I watch the rain drops as they fall upon the leaves making them look greener and more fresh. While I sip my coffee, I let my mind wander in all directions guided by emotions that make a person smile and yet leaves a mark by bringing a tear to the eye. I want to feel the emotions and not just watch them go by. I want to feel the pain. I want to feel the happiness. I want to feel all that I see everyday.
I want to enjoy the rain which I haven't done for the past 10 years. A dance in the rain would make me happy and that happiness is what I want to feel. Perhaps, I want my tears to flow as the rain drops fall on my face. I want to feel that sorrow too. I want to live in a place where nobody would stare at my t-shirt getting wet and transparent while I stand in the rain. I just want to spend some time alone. A time that I can spend understanding emotions in their purest form.
I want to watch children play. I want to hear the birds chirp. I want to smell the fragrance that comes from the wet mud. I want to hear the oceans roar. I want to watch the sun set beyond the horizon. I want to feel the wind blowing against my face. I want to sit silently thinking about nothing in particular. I want to enjoy that very moment to the fullest.
I know, a lot of people might not really understand what I actually want. All I can say is that I do not want to sit in the front of the computer working all day in a closed office space where the mind does nothing but think about money. I don't want to be surrounded by bills and invoices and documents and all the paper work that we do in a usual office setup. Thats not what I want to live for. It is not the life that I could have imagined ever. It is not the life that would leave me content.
Its not that I want to live alone all my life. Like every other person, I want to get married. I too want to spend my life with a man who loves me more than he has ever loved anyone before. I want to have my own children. But there is something I want to do before I have my own family. I want to live my life alone. It does not mean that I will not stay in touch with anyone, not even my parents. Hell, no. Thats not it. But I want to go to a place where people don't know me. I want to spend time thinking. All alone. I want to do all those things which wouldn't be possible after I get married. I want to go to a place where a woman can walk peacefully and not fear being stalked on the way. I just want to live life my own way.
And if I still don't make sense to you, go watch Wake Up Sid. You know what, when I saw this movie I had this feeling that the makers of this movie have read my mind. It is so much similar to my own desires. I just wish my life could be like that of Konkona Sen in the movie.
Watch this song and see my emotions flow through