You may find it weird but last night a thought crept into my mind. Before I tell you about the weird yet sensible thought, let me tell you what gave birth to that thought.
It was pitch dark and the only light in the room came from my laptop. I was sitting on my bed playing Farmville. Okay, you don't need to raise your eyebrows at that. I am one of those who is terribly addicted to the game. Would be believe me if I said that I recently joined Farmville only because I wanted to write about it and find out what was there in this game which made people run after it. Only I didn't know that it would cast a spell on me too and make me a victim of its black magic. Gah..!!
Anyway, so I was telling you about that thought. So, while I sat on the bed playing Farmville, I felt the need to go to the loo. Okay, please do not assume that there is a connection between playing Farmville and my kidneys. No, there isn't any. Anybody whose kidneys are bursting could go to the loo, any time. So was the case with me. So now you know that Farmville did not really take me under its black magic.
So, while I kept my laptop down to get up from the bed, my glance fell upon my phone. Casually, I checked the time. It was 5 minutes past midnight. Midnight..!! That rang a bell. The time when the ghosts come out from the graves. And all the scary scenes from the movies created a havoc in my mind. Okay, did I ever tell you that I am damn scared of ghosts. I do not watch horror movies because I imagine myself in that situation. I hallucinate. I feel everything I saw in the movie, is happening to me. My imagination soars. Well, err.. sometimes, it can be bad to have a good imagination.
Lets get back to my midnight madness. So, when I saw the time, I remembered a jingle we used to sing as a kid. It was something like, "12 baj gaye. Raat ko 12 baje bhoot aayega" (It is 12 now. All the ghosts come out at 12). Before I could realise I was repeating it over and over again in my mind. It was like the jingle was playing in the background while I walked towards the bathroom. With an imagination so wild, I obviously saw a ghost at every place my reflection / shadow fell upon. You know how it is. The moment I was about to step in front of the mirror, I imagined that I would see a scary figure who would pounce upon me. The moment I open the tap, there would be blood instead of water. You know, things like it. Oh, so you think its lame. Well, it is. But I am kinda scared of these things.
Anyway. When I was back on my bed, it was then a thought crept in. I haven't as yet told you about that weird thought, remember..?? So lemme just stop beating around the bush and tell you guys about it. Well.. I am scared of ghost, thats what I know. But the thought that came to my mind was that when I have kids and they ask me if ghosts exist or no, what will I tell them. Do I tell them that there are no ghosts but their dear mommy is scared of them. Or is that my imagination is so wild that it gives birth to the ghosts who live in and around my house. Or do I tell them that ghosts exist. I mean seriously guys. When I lack confidence in this aspect, how can I expect my children to trust my confidence. I, surely, do not want them to inherit this trait. I want my children to be fearless. Not, like me ofcourse.
I know, its years before I would have kids. I have atleast 8-10 years in hand before my kids ask me this question but I don't want to be unprepared. I need to have an answer. And to have an answer, I need to overcome my own fears. I need to build confidence in my own self. A confidence so strong that my kids do not doubt it and can easily rely on it.