Sunday, June 27, 2010

Life is everything but not a dream

Dreading the moment that was about to come her way, she sat with a glommy expression though she was trying hard to put on a smile, the least she could do for this man. She heard somebody giggling and realized that she had very little time by her herself. He would make an entry any moment and that would be the end of her loneliness. Aghast at her own thought of loneliness, she decided to be her best not just today but for the entire life that stood in front of her. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She wasn't sure if she was doing the correct thing. This is not how she had planned her life to be. This was different. And now she wouldn't let anything spoil her life, thinking which she lowered the temperature of the new AC installed in the bedroom.


He looked at her, probably, trying to read her face. "Is that what you have decided?"

She took in a deep breath, unsure of what to say next. She fiddled with the fork, nervously. He noticed her. He was sure that it wasn't her decision to part ways. She was definitely under influence. 6 days back, their usual sunday meeting had turned special when they had decided to make their relationship public. She was the one who had proposed this thought. And he had willingly agreed. And that Sunday was one of his best Sundays he had ever spent with her. Though marriage was the last thing on his mind, he had given in because he loved her too much. It was just the start of his career and marriage would put some restrictions. Some compromisations which were uncalled for. Atleast at this point. But he couldn't compromise with the love of his life.

And today, they sat at the same table, the same corner one, sipping beer, perhaps their last one together.

He could see her nervousness. She was feeling uncomfortable. "Is there anything wrong", he asked. "Do you have something to tell me"

She gave him a how-did-you-know look. And then smiled at her own foolishness. Samar was a mind reader. He always knew what she had been thinking and he could easily make out what her expressions meant.

"Yeah", she said. And then bit her tongue for she did not want to tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him that his mother had asked her to go out of his life. She couldn't tell him that his mother couldn't stand her anymore. She couldn't tell him that his mother had offered her money to leave him. She couldn't tell him that his mother was about to get him married to some punjabi girl who atleast belonged to their own caste unlike her. She definitely couldn't tell him this.

"Shazia, look at me". He took her hand in his hands. "Tell me whats wrong. Did anybody say anything to you."

"Listen, Samar. Ammi wants me to get married. She has found a muslim boy for me. The family is very rich. I will not be able to fight them, Samar. You have to understand. I cannot do this. Lets just separate. Its not possible. You are a punjabi boy and I am muslim girl. It won't work. Please."

Shazia said it all in one breathe. Samar just looked at her with eyes which gave out nothing. He was shocked to hear this from a girl and her family who had always respected every other religion. They were secular in true sense and he loved that about her. He was sure that something was terribly wrong. He decided to give it one last shot.

"Baby, we will talk to your mom. We will make her understand how much we love each other. We.."

"I don't love you anymore", saying this she got up and walked away.


As the room temperature came down, she heaved a sigh of relief. Alone, she sat waiting on the king size bed, her legs curled close to her chest. She could smell the fresh roses strewn on the stark white bed sheet. The fragrance was enough to soothe her nervousness. Dressed in a maroon lehenga with the dupatta covering her face like a veil, she shifted in her place. She still wasn't sure whether she had done the right thing in marrying him. She tried to smile but all she could do was think about Samar and the lovely time thay had spent together. She couldn't forget their ceremonial sunday lunches every week when he would come down to Delhi to meet her. Conscious about spoiling her makeup, she tried to come back in the present. She was a married woman and now she was waiting for her man to come and make love to her. And she must act like a mature woman.

She heard some giggles again. That was definitely coming from her cousins and friends trying to make her husband wait. She giggled herself when she heard them. She felt relaxed by the sudden change in her mood. This quick marriage ceremony had not given her time to think about her future. She felt relieved that it was finally over. Sometimes, life isn't the way you want it to be. Sometimes, the way of achieving things may be different from how you had planned it to be. It is best to let everything proceed at its own pace when you are unsure of what you want. And that is what she did. She still wasn't sure.

This time she heard the door knob turn and her thoughts brought her back to the present. The door stood ajar and she could see her husband standing right in front of her eyes. Seeing him, her lost confidence came back. Instantly she knew that she had done the right thing. This is life and it is definitely not a dream. And Samar, her strength, stood right there watching her sit comfortably on the beautifully decorated bed all by herself perhaps drooling over her grand punjabi wedding.

Friday, June 25, 2010


TBG tagged me.  
Well actually, I am supposed to answer the questions which TBG asked on his blog and then come up with a separate set of questions which are to be answered by those who will be tagged here. 

Lemme start by answering the weird questions (just like the man himself) asked by the baldy. 

1. What one material thing are you hoping/ scoping to inherit?

Ans: A huge Haveli with a massive garden in the front and with a driveway which can hold a minimum of 20 cars (umm, it must be  atleast half full with luxury cars at the time of inheritance). There shall be 3 guards at the front door (did I tell you that the door is to be made of solid steel). I think 2 guards wouldn't be enough  for a door as heavy as  his one. All this to myself.. I have a lot of details to add but I don't want to sound selfish, so this is the least I can hope for. 

You're driving. It's great weather. Attractive member of opposite sex in expensive car looks at you and half-smiles. You're in a relationship. Do you return the look and half-smile back?

Ans:  I wouldnt have returned the smile if it hadn't been for the stupid weather. You can't blame me.

Can't smell or can't taste? For six months, and if you had to chose, would you rather lose your sense of smell or not be able to taste anything?

Ans: Without a doubt, the smell can go first. I wouldn't mind if I don't get to smell food but how do you think I will survive knowing that my taste buds make me proud every single day. Aaaahh.. I am a foodie. 

Pick a situationa. You're 42. Would you rather go without sex for three years and win a lottery after that, enabling you to never have to work again? Or
b. Get twice the lottery money now (at 42) but have your partner sleep with your boss?

Ans: I'll choose the first one. I am quite possessive, you see. My partner ain't going anywhere, for sure. No no.  And you wouldn't mind waiting for 3 years after which there will be no work. There shall be ample time to make up for the lost 3 years. 

5. What's a quicker turn off, bad pronunciation or maroon lipstick?

Ans: Maroon lipstick. Looks bitchy to me. 

Would you rather your kid turn out to be a nymphomaniac or gay?(For my amusement, please answer in the format: I would rather my kid be ---)

Ans: I would rather my kid be a nymphomaniac. But only till he / she gets married. I don't want the wife / husband to suffer the disloyalty. I will definitely make a good mother. *blushing*

7. For which one thing have you not forgiven your mother?

Ans:  For being a freak to have lost so much weight. Her face has lost the charm. And she doesn't listen. Grrrrr...!!

Would you rather go bald or lose your front tooth?

Ans: I have (read as, had) a half broken front tooth. Long story. Avoid...

Your sibling is sleeping with your married close friend. Who do you go to first, sibling or married close friend? 

Ans: I'd go to my friend first. And beat him / her black and blue. I can't do that to my sibling. 

10. When was the last time you cried that wasn't while watching a movie?

Ans: Just today :D

And now coming to the tag. I haven't really decided on the questions. I think these questions are just okay. So, go ahead and answer the same questions. 
And I tag everybody who reads this post (lemme tell you its not by choice but its a compulsion). Everybody ought to do the tag. If for any reason you are not able to post it on your blog, you can do so in the comments section of this post. This tag is even valid for those who do not blog. :)

Have fun people...

I had a tiring day and its time for me to retire to bed.

Goodnight. And have a lovely weekend. 

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Deserted Road

I don't know, it may sound a little weird. I mean, I felt weird when I saw it. I wasn't really feeling comfortable. All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind and I tried to put the pieces together. But I couldn't really understand. I am not sure whether my mind was pointing in the correct direction or was it that I was just trying to deduce everything out of nothing.

Today, while coming back from the office, I saw a Pajero parked on a secluded road through which I pass everyday. Two hefty men dressed in similar looking black safari suits with dark sunglasses stood outside the SUV. They had their backs towards the car and were talking to each other. These men looked like bouncers who are generally seen with big shots while they make a public appearance (minus the guns, ofcourse). So when I saw them standing there, I couldnt help but wonder what was going in that car. I mean, I am not sure whether something was really going on or not but I just couldnt get myself to believe that everything was alright. I smelled something fishy.

Perhaps some one famous (or rich) had got a girl and was having a wonderful time with her. Or it could have been a prostitute. It could be an extra marital affair. I don't want to say this but it could be a possibility that a poor girl was victimized and eaten up by some filthy rich hungry wolf.

Obviously, the men outside the car must be keeping an eye on the surroundings. I became suspicious because the road is generally deserted. It is almost entirely devoid of traffic and is considered to be the end of the city beyond which stands a slightly uninhabited area. Considering the place, I cannot really blame my thoughts for wandering too much.

But I couldn't help but think about a women being abused. Today I wasn't alone in the car. But someday, when I will be alone travelling on that stretch, what am I supposed to do if I encounter something like this. I have no clue about that.

Nevertheless, I hope its just my stupid brain drawing unnecessary conclusions.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Shopping Shopping..!!

Today was quite a lazy day. There wasn't much work at the office so I left early and the first thought that came to my mind was like "Lets go shopping". So, I took myself to the nearest mall which happens to fall on the way back home.

I was in no mood to spend much. I just wanted to buy some cheapy daily wear kurtas (cheapy in terms of price and definitely not cheapy looking). I checked out globus and it was a disaster. Then I went to  store which looked good from outside but was similar to fabindia from the inside (I like fabindia, by the way). With a sprain in my leg, I didnt want to stand there too long trying to mix and match stuff so I walked out. Then, I went to Shoppers Stop hoping to find some sensible looking clothes and indeed there were.

While I stood in the queue waiting for the trial room to be free, I noticed these two boards just outside the trial room:

I wondered if these trial rooms are under surveillance too..??

By the way, I took three garments inside..

Monday, June 21, 2010

The wardrobe tag

The Bald Guy tagged me. Earlier I had thought that I would do away with this tag but now I cannot wait to take it up.

I am supposed to mention 9 things that I have worn the most. Okay, this is quite interesting and believe it or not, this is one of the best tags I have ever done.

So, here is my list of 9 things..

My Black track pants (I know they look blue in the picture, maybe because of the flash). I put them on the moment I step into my house. They are one of the most comfortable pants I own (or I have ever owned). My mom has similar ones but in pink. She too agrees with me on the comfy aspect.

I picked up this kurta from Shoppers Stop and trust me, I have worn this one every second day this summer. I love the colour and I love the fabric. It is just perfect for a hut summer day at office. 

I bought these specifically for walking. Instead I use them for every other occasion except for the morning walk. Love them. 

My most treasured pairs. I have about 12 pairs, all of them different from each other and vibrant like these. 

Okay.. Don't be surprised at this one. Though it has completed faded and you can barely make out what is written on it, I still love the fitting and the comfort it gives me. And not to forget its unique style which makes it look more like a sweatshirt. Confused? Its a t-shirt, people..

This is my most recent purchase. Obviously, I don't have to say anything when you comes to basic blue jeans. 

Basics, which I use every single day (without any exception). The hair serum for the extra shine, the black clip to hold my hair in place, kohl for my eyes and a body splash to keep me fresh the whole day. 

This is big enough for the whole town to fit in. It goes where ever I go

Last but not the least, my most priced possession. 

I reached the nine quite soon. This list could have gone on and on for ever. And if it had been winters, I would still have been stuck with my wardrobe. I simply love the winter collection. (Pst Pst. Let me tell you a little secret. I love the men's winter collection. You will never find me near the women's clothing during the cold months)

Time for tagging people..

I tag the following 
Supriya, Atul, Sid, Sorcy, @ease, Nipun, Pratik, Mehak, Rashmi, Shivani, Chitz, Cathy, buckinfastard, Sakshi, Vandy, Sepo and M@ria.
UPDATE : I also tag Garima (I forgot to write her name but when I saw her post, I remembered).. :)

I am sure you guys will enjoy doing this tag. I did. Specially when I had to take pictures of things I have worn the most. 

Have fun.. And be good. 

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Whats up doc..??

I had promised to you guys that I would share with you my experience with the doctors (orthopaedics, to be more precise). Remember, I had sprained my leg. As an update, the sprain is just not getting better. And my mom is just scaring the shit out of me with her experience. She has warned advised  me to keep my foot straight and not let it hang in air while sitting or else she would not let me go to the office on monday. Dhamiki, you see.

So, let me start the story. I went to 4 doctors.

Doc 1 : (This one has his clinic right inside the society where I live)
He examined by leg for quite some time, talked about things which were less important (for instance, my migraine, which was absolutely not related to my sprain). He asked me how prone was I to sprains to which I replied that I used to fall down a lot while I was a kid. And then came the question (or perhaps it was an assertion) to which I had no answer. He asked me (or rather told me) that I used to get my sprains from dancing.  Well it is half truth. I used to dance a lot but I am no professional. When I learnt odissi dance, I sprained my leg just once. That is it. But seeing his confidence, I gave in and said yes. It is the dance which needs to be blamed. Anyway. So, after a lot of frustrating minutes that I spent in his clinic, the doc finally asked me to get an X-ray done. 

Doc 2 : (Now this is an exciting story) My mom and dad took me to another doctor only because they wanted to take a second opinion. So we went to this doctor who had a big clinic near my dad's office. It was about 11 o'clock in the morning at that time and the shutters were down. While my dad was parking the car, my glance fell upon the "24 hours open" board which stood in its place at the top of the building. Did I just say that the shutters were down. But the poor compounder stood under the board trying to fit himself in the only place which was out of reach from the sun's rays. He told us that the doctor forgot to give the keys to him and is already on his way to the clinic and would also treat me. Obviously. My dad wandered away to find out some reviews about this doctor. When he came back, he told us that this doctor was a gold medalist from AIIMS. Perhaps, it was worth the wait. So we were waiting for 10 minutes until he came and opened his clinic.(It looked more like an inauguration with 5 people standing behind the shutter, waiting for it to be pulled up). The exciting part is yet to come. So after making ourselves comfortable (you know exactly how it is when the clinic has just been opened), the doctor finally got to see his patient. After a lot of introspection, this is what he had to say.
Doc : You have a ligament tear
Me : Oh. (As if I didnt know). So, what needs to be done.
Doc : You need an X-ray. Get it done and come back to me. 
Me : But its just a sprain. I know its not fracture because if it had been, I wouldnt have been able to walk. 
Doc : You still need a plaster.
Dad : But its a sprain. 
Doc : You see, this area (pointing to my ankle) is quite prone to sprains. The possibility of a fracture is quite low. But we need to get an X-ray done.
Dad : And then..??
Doc : We put a plaster.
Dad : Oh. But that is in the case of a fracture. What if it is just a sprain. A muscle tear won't come in the X-ray.
Doc : We will still put a plaster. But I am telling you, it is just a ligament tear.
Dad : Then why are we getting an X-ray done?
Doc : To see for how much duration the plaster will be put for. 
Me, Dad and Mom : Ohhh.
Dad : Okay. Then let me just talk to my family doctor. He is not in town. What time can we come back to you.
Doc : I won't come again.
Dad : Okay, in the evening. When should I get her for the plaster.
Doc : Never..
My dad gave a puzzled look...  @#$#.. ?? 
Doc : Once rejected, I don't treat the patient. If you do not have the courtesy to get treated when the doctor came specially for you then I am sorry I cannot help. 
I wanted to shout in his face and hit him with that "24 hours open" board but I got up and walked out without a word.
By the way, did I mention that this doctor was a surdy. 

Doc 3 : Not much happened at this doctor's clinic. We were waiting for him for almost 20 mins outside his clinic. When my dad went inside (again) to ask what was keeping him busy, the receptionist told him that the doctor is having his breakfast..!! Grrrrrrr...

Doc 4 : Okay. This one was the most sensible out of the lot. He did not have a big clinic nor was he a gold medalist. He sat in a small shop kind of a place and carried the reputation of curing all those patients whose cases were not solved by the two doctors I went to. He just bandaged my ankle and gave me a little bit of heat therapy and that was it. 

Gah..!! Sometimes, you dont know whom to trust and whom not to. 

Enough of the doctor-patient game.

Today is fathers day. And the best thing I could do sitting at home was to let my bhabhi's kids make cards for their daddy. 

Check it out. 

Aren't they cute.. 


Thursday, June 17, 2010

The story about my sprain

Guess what, guys..!! I fell down.. Yeah, you read that right. I really did fall down. And I sprained my foot. This mishap took place on Sunday. Sadly, I did not have an internet connection around me so I spent time reading a book. And now I finally have my laptop and an internet connection and here I am writing the post which has been pending since the past three days.

You know, it is quite embarrassing to fall down in a movie theater. It doesn't happen too often but when it does, it makes you go red, not with anger but a feeling that is called "being embarrassed". Anyway. So, on Sunday, I went to watch Sex and the City - 2 and everything was okay till the interval. Well, to tell you the truth, it wasn't. The girl who was sitting next to me carried  an awful B.O. Man, it was quite suffocating. And I don't know what got into her but every few minutes she would raise her arm and an awful smell filled the air. Blame it to be my bad luck, the AC was just too effective that day which made matters even worse.

I somehow managed till the interval and decided to move a little away from that girl and a little closer to the big screen. So, we got up from the seat and moved a little further. Thankfully, there were not many people in the theater and majority of the seats were vacant. So, we managed a nice seat. And then, I got up to get some popcorn and coke and whoaa, I fell down. Perhaps I twisted my ankle and tumbled down the two steps. I mean, I really don't know what happened and how it happened, I realized the fall only when I saw myself on the ground. It was quite a smooth fall. And my friend didn't even notice that I had fallen down. Because, I think she came much later to help me. But a guy who had an amazing voice was much faster. I think he was just behind me when I fell. And with a husky voice, he asked me, "Are you okay". And I nodded. Shit Shit Shit. I did not even look at his face and into his eyes. I should have. A mischievous and flirtatious glance would have done the trick. But thats what I regret. I was so much in pain that I forgot to look him in th eye.

Its no use crying over spilt milk so the chapter about the guy with a husky voice stands closed.

But I have to tell you this. Its quite creepy, though. A day before the fall, I had a premonition that I am going to fall down from the stairs. And when I fell down, the premonition struck me. It freaked me out when I remembered seeing myself falling down from the stairs. I am not sure whether to call it a Déjà vu or a premonition but I chose to call it the latter because I had that fall in my mind even before I actually fell. I mean, It wans't that I felt that I have seen this happening before but it was as if I knew I am going to fall. I hope I am making sense.

I faced another creepy situation. After I got a sprain, I had  to drive back home. It wasn't a very good idea because my feet really made me scream. But thats not creepy. I am coming to that. Well, I reached home and just as I was about to enter the society after parking my car, a scene flashed in front of my eyes. I'll try to explain that scene and trust me it won't be difficult for you guys to imagine.

"A gust of wind is blowing. It carried with itself all the dried leaves and blew them here and there. Far away there is a temple and you could hear the bells ringing and the faint voices of people chanting the prayers. The hero of the movie is limping. He is wounded and is trying to walk as fast as his legs could carry. He has to find some shelter. He does not want to get stuck in the rain. He must get his wound bandaged. And so he is hurriedly walking in the darkness"

Does it sound familiar. Did it remind you of a sequence from any old bollywood movie? It did, I know. Because, the same thoughts were going through my mind. I mean, it was extremely creepy. I felt like the actor who is just about to be shot dead by the villian.

I don't know about you, but I got goosebumps that day. On reaching home, I crawled into bed and wrapped a sheet around myself. And slept.

It was really freaky.

And today, its been 4 days since I got the sprain. A lot has happened in these 4 days about which I will write a separate post which will specially be dedicated to the doctor's diagnosis. Its really crazy to see doctors acting crazier than you could ever imagine. I'll soon come up with a post.

Till then, Ciao..

PS : I am really enjoying my stay at home even though the whole day is spent in bed. The best thing about the sprain is that I don't have to go to the office. Sadly, I plan to make a short visit to the office in the afternoon today.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Life, a game of chess..

Was it by chance or was it my fate,
Our eyes met and we exchanged glances,
Little did I know that it was just the start of a game.
Where both of us were not just players, but puppets too
Our strings were in his hands, the Almighty
If we were the pawns, then he was definitely Bobby Fischer
All his moves were calculated,
Yet they looked different, and promising too.
Dressed like pawns, we traversed the path
Alternating between the blacks and the whites 
The ones that brought in the different shades of grey
Together we moved, together we jumped
Together we laughed, together we cried
The good God himself blessed us,
"Thou shalt love,
Lovers be lost, thy love shalt not besiege."
Happy were they, for they were together
For years we lived as two bodies one soul
Promises were made to remain this way,
But fate indeed brought in the separation
Where lovers become the victim of circumstances
Lost in the maze of doom, we wandered away
Farther and farther, we were carried away
Where our eyes couldn't meet and our hands couldn't reach 
But the good God had himself blessed us,
"Thou shalt love,
Lovers be lost, thy love shalt not besiege."
Even though, the distance separated us
Our love was as fresh as a daisy
Sweet and tender, it remained
Sweet and tender, it will always remain..

I dedicate this one to my dearest friend @ease, who has never made me feel the absence of a lover

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The year that went by

Awrite, this is it. I know a lot of people have already gone through this phase and have already had their share of feelings and emotions clouding them and this is not something new thats happening. But, I have to agree that I never realised that on completing a year with the blogging world, I would actually be jumping around and throwing a party for the guy who introduced me to this virtual space. Yeah, you read that right. I am throwing a party for him. (wink wink). But hang on lemme introduce you guys to the most irritating man himself.

Presenting, the one and only @ease (I am sure, you must have read this name many a times here)

So, you guys already know him. But there is something that you guys don't know. 

Well, it so happened that @ease and I had a fight. And I just cannot keep my feelings inside and take every route to take out my anger (I will write a complete post on the benefits sometime later). I did the same with him. I wrote a long mail and said everything that I wanted to say (basically, it was just a blame game and if you girls need classes on that, drop in your email-ids, I don't mind tutoring you). So, where was I. Yeah, the blame game. For me, it was just a way to vent out my anger but surprisingly, he came up to me and said, "Girl, you must write" And I was like, "Whaaat? Hello, I wrote that mail to gain some sympathy" Grrrrrrrr.. 

So after things were back to normal, this gem of a guy idiot freaked me out and told me that he loved the way I write. He said that there is something in me my writing that attracted me towards him (ummm, am I boasting too much). 

Thats how my blog came up..

And today, I complete a year of writing on this space. I have read a lot of people writing about how their blogs have become the most cherished part of their lives, how much they like being associated with it, how it de-stresses them, what it means to them and how much they enjoy writing on it. I am sure you guys must have already read about it elsewhere, so I am not going to waste my time repeating it 'coz I feel exactly like you did on your blog's first birthday (err.. do I call it a birthday or anniversary). But the only thing I am going to say here is that I loved every bit of it. 

I have exceeded 50 followers, and I am nearing 100 posts (okay, that is making me a proud woman). 

I cannot forget the day I was feeling a bit let down because I had expected that people would read my blog and I wanted immediate  response but the only people who read my blog were a couple of my close friends. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what I wanted from this blog. I wasn't in the habit of writing when I made an account with blogger. Perhaps, I just wanted some people to compliment me and push me further into it. But when there were no people reading it and there was nothing that could motivate me, The Bald Guy came to my rescue. One of the oldest readers of my blog, TBG made me feel comfortable specially when it came to strangers reading my blog. I have always seen this guy commenting on my blog. Initially, he used to point out my mistakes and give brotherly advice whenever it was needed. And till date, he is seen commenting on my posts and he is getting balder day by day. Actually, that doesn't really matter till the time he is reading my blog. 

Then it was buckinfastard and Anju who started reading my blog. Anju perhaps didn't like my blog that much and she stopped reading it (commenting on it too) a few months back but BF still bugs me with his comments (kidding) and I still don't know his name. I am surprised that he hasn't realized that people find it weird to call him buckinfastard. 

Then there is Rashmi, a super cool woman. Totally bindaas. I never knew that I would find a friend on blogger. Love you Rashmi.

Hey wait, I had totally forgotten about my college friend Nikhil, who pushed me into writing fiction. He said, "Listen, nobody wants to read about what you did and what you didn't. Write something which people would actually read. Write stories" And thats how my stories began. And my other college friends, who were already on blogger, deserve a mention too. I learnt a lot from their blogs. 

Shivani, the one who is always on the run, has been missing from her blog but she still finds time to read my posts and I simply love her comments. Sometimes they inspire me, sometimes they makes me laugh, sometimes it leaves me emotional and sometimes, it just makes me think. Err.. the last one doesn't happen too often, though.

Sorcy and Sid came almost at the same time and they have one of the most popular blogs around. Both have their unique way of writing but their aim is the same; they make you laugh. They make you go crazy. And that is the best thing about them.

Then came a lady who shares the same interests like me, which ofcourse I discovered later. Chitz, a girl who loves her husband a lot and loves the way her life is. I never knew that Chitz and I would paint and write, the common hobbies between us. 

And Nipun aka 'Nuts' always cheers me up no matter what my mood is. His comments are always a pleasure to read. 

GarimaRenuChandrikaCathySakshiPratikOrangeSupriyaSaurabh and Punia, definitely deserve to be mentioned. They are the ones who have been continually reading my blog. 

And the ones who joined me recently, VandyAtulSepoMehakTavish and Maria helped my followers count touch 50. 

I am sorry if I missed some names. It doesn't mean that you guys are not important. You are, lemme tell you that now.

Ofcourse there are some people who secretly read my blog but never tell me. Neither are they in my followers list nor do they ever comment. But they know whats going on and whats the hot topic on my blog. I thank you people too. You guys definitely increase the hits on my blog. :D

Frankly, I have never thanked you guys (nor had I even thought about it) but when I have got this opportunity, I think I should coz you have kept me going. I never knew that I would find a small li'l world that is much more sweeter than the one gifted by God (I am sorry God, but I couldnt have used better words to explain this feeling)

I hope I keep writing. Unlike my other hobbies, I do not want to lose interest in this skill so soon. My mood swings are generally not able to cross even the slightest of barriers and I end up losing interest in almost everything I put my hands on. I am keeping my fingers crossed, I just want this to go on. 

PS : After 4-5 years, I went for a swim today. And I am sure you know what I have to say about it. I simply loved it. Though my muscles are hurting me now but it was wonderful to finally jump into the pool. While office has been keeping me busy these days, the swim did wonders and feel so relaxed. If I get time, I'll take a sip tomorrow as well. Or maybe it can wait 'coz I am supposed to treat @ease (Remember..!!)

PPS : I never knew that I would write a "thank you speech". Perhaps I should attend some bollywood award function and see if my speech works there.(Sorry guys, bad joke..!!)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Out came a thought..

You may find it weird but last night a thought crept into my mind. Before I tell you about the weird yet sensible thought, let me tell you what gave birth to that thought.

It was pitch dark and the only light in the room came from my laptop. I was sitting on my bed playing Farmville. Okay, you don't need to raise your eyebrows at that. I am one of those who is terribly addicted to the game. Would be believe me if I said that I recently joined Farmville only because I wanted to write about it and find out what was there in this game which made people run after it. Only I didn't know that it would cast a spell on me too and make me a victim of its black magic. Gah..!!

Anyway, so I was telling you about that thought. So, while I sat on the bed playing Farmville, I felt the need to go to the loo. Okay, please do not assume that there is a connection between playing Farmville and my kidneys. No, there isn't any. Anybody whose kidneys are bursting could go to the loo, any time. So was the case with me. So now you know that Farmville did not really take me under its black magic.

So, while I kept my laptop down to get up from the bed, my glance fell upon my phone. Casually, I checked the time. It was 5 minutes past midnight. Midnight..!! That rang a bell. The time when the ghosts come out from the graves. And all the scary scenes from the movies created a havoc in my mind. Okay, did I ever tell you that I am damn scared of ghosts. I do not watch horror movies because I imagine myself in that situation. I hallucinate. I feel everything I saw in the movie, is happening to me. My imagination soars. Well, err.. sometimes, it can be bad to have a good imagination.

Lets get back to my midnight madness. So, when I saw the time, I remembered a jingle we used to sing as a kid. It was something like, "12 baj gaye. Raat ko 12 baje bhoot aayega" (It is 12 now. All the ghosts come out at 12). Before I could realise I was repeating it over and over again in my mind. It was like the jingle was  playing in the background while I walked towards the bathroom. With an imagination so wild, I obviously saw a ghost at every place my reflection / shadow fell upon. You know how it is. The moment I was about to step in front of the mirror, I imagined that I would see a scary figure who would pounce upon me. The moment I open the tap, there would be blood instead of water. You know, things like it. Oh, so you think its lame. Well, it is. But I am kinda scared of these things.

Anyway. When I was back on my bed, it was then a thought crept in. I haven't as yet told you about that weird thought, remember..?? So lemme just stop beating around the bush and tell you guys about it. Well.. I am scared of ghost, thats what I know. But the thought that came to my mind was that when I have kids and they ask me if ghosts exist or no, what will I tell them. Do I tell them that there are no ghosts but their dear mommy is scared of them. Or is that my imagination is so wild that it gives birth to the ghosts who live in and around my house. Or do I tell them that ghosts exist. I mean seriously guys. When I lack confidence in this aspect, how can I expect my children to trust my confidence. I, surely, do not want them to inherit this trait. I want my children to be fearless. Not, like me ofcourse.

I know, its years before I would have kids. I have atleast 8-10 years in hand before my kids ask me this question but I don't want to be unprepared. I need to have an answer. And to have an answer, I need to overcome my own fears. I need to build confidence in my own self. A confidence so strong that my kids do not doubt it and can easily rely on it.