Saturday, April 24, 2010

When there will be no paper

The world is going green. Every attempt is being made to save the trees.

Upset about the enormous loss of trees from this planet I sat down on my couch (the same couch which brings all the weird thoughts in my already rusted brain) and very soon I was lost in my own thoughts.

And suddenly my devilish conscience yelled at me, "What an idea, Sirji..!!"

I have finally devised a way out. Well, not exactly.

Let us see how would the alternatives be.

Wedding cards - I know, how the uncles and the aunties will feel when they do not get those beautifully decorated wedding cards with the mithai, ofcourse. Since all the invites would be made through the phone, let us see how would it be. "Hello ji, How are you ji, My sister is getting marriied ji. You will come, no? With family. Okay" On asking about the programme details, the reply would be, "Ji, aapko mail kardiya hai sab kuch. Do come, okay..!!" The poor guest will be at a loss for they would no longer get those designer boxes specially made for the distribution of cards, the same boxes which are supposedly used by the women folks to put their hair clips and saree pins. Sometimes, even jewellery.






Newspapers - The age old tradition of reading nespapers early in the morning with the entire family will now be forgotten for the world is going hi-tech by reading newspapers online. The time, when the humangous family of dadaji, dadiji, mummy, papa, tau, tayi, chacha, chachi and the whole bunch of kids sitting together waiting for their turn to read the newspaper would now be spent on the interenet (ofcourse, they would end up playing farmville instead). Just wondering, what would they read when the nature's call takes time to finally come out.





Toilet paper - Aaah, I liked this one the most. With the scarcity of water increasing day by day, you would definitely need something else to wash your poop. No, no, toilet papers wouldnt be an option either. Come on, don't forget that the toilet papers are made from paper too. But don't worry, you can always use a cloth. Or simply wear the diapers. Wear, poop and throw. Easy and neat.





Money - Now where would the green bucks go. Perhaps the barter system would once again be used. The dhoodhwala will be satisfied with a bear hug from the super sexy woman in the locality, the dhobi would want a kiss and the guy from the grocery store would wnt to touch her boobs. Well, I am not sure what would happen if the super hot babe goes to buy a big house. Or what wuld she get for her work in the office.




Wallpapers of semi nude and nude models - Ahem ahem. I can see those frowns already. If a bachelor's room is devoid of these posters, he may not learn about the life processes. You know, sometimes, practical knowledge is much more benefecial than the bookish knowledge. How in the world would he learn how to control his harmones in crucial times.



Let us see, what shall be the consequences.

18 comments:

Atul said...

...good attempt chanz... now i thank god i don't have a couch to sit... a rahega couch na aaenge aise vidhvansak ideas! :p

bondgal_rulz said...

ROFL @ the toilet paper and money point!!!!!

Cheers

annum said...

Hey, I would like to add one more point. Writing exams on paper for so long reminds me that an online pattern like online CAT exam wud be better. And not to forget the exorbitant use of paper in schools. Imagine school without books ;)

chitz said...

creative ideas chanz...:)

Nipun said...

Awesome post Chanz..
Really creative and innovative thoughts.
Lets give a try starting with u.
Try with the toilet paper thingy..
Sab pata chal jaega..
We shall overcome this also someday..

Cheers

Nuts

Chanz said...

@ Atul : Haha.. sahi kaha... even I should think about discarding my couch.. but u know what, I love my couch...

Chanz said...

@ bondgal : hehehe... thanks.. :)

Chanz said...

@ annum : lol... why didnt i think abt that... maybe because we are already out of that stage.. i know u wont believe me but sometimes I really do feel like studying.. :(

Chanz said...

@ chitz : hehehe.. thanks chitz..

Chanz said...

@ nipun : lets just wait for all the paper in the world to just VANISH INTO THIN AIR..

starry said...

well! we already have evites which is really good I have used it on numerous occasions, also ecards, and now I am into ebooks.so I think we are making progress.But it is sad to see the wriiten word slowly being replaced.I treasure all the letters I got before email.It is something I hold on to dearly, the ones my husband wrote before we were married.It is better than searching through thousands of emails to read it again and again.

Garima said...

hum 'artists' ka kya hoga...?? painting karne k liye sheets kahan se layenge??? ^_^

Mehak said...

LOL! awesome points, especially about the toilet paper! :P

Shivani said...

Jesus Christ.. I must tell you .. stop parking your bum on that couch .. not good for humanity :-S

NO to Wedding cards and toilet paper makes sense though ;-)

Chanz said...

@ starry : well, i too get saddened when i see the written world is slowly being replaced by the electronic world... frankly i dont like the ebooks.. I dont get the same feeling when i read on the net.

Chanz said...

@ Garima : I think we will use the wall... :D

Chanz said...

@ Mehak : thanks... Glad u liked it.. :)

Chanz said...

@ Shivani : u know, the couch really makes me feel relaxed... It is super duper good for me.. :P