Saturday, March 20, 2010

How many men out there need reservation..??

My fellow blogger, Sid-o-Scope has pointed out why Men need 33% reservation. Written in Blue are the reasons why Sid thinks Men need reservations. And those in Red are my answers errr.. I actually answered back and the red colour was chosen so as to make my points clear.

Men demand equality, in all walks of life.... 33% more equality than woman.

1. Reservation on television remote control from evening 7:30 to 11:00
This rule will apply also during IPL matches and any cricket match for that matter. Also showing 2 balls per over does not mean we have seen enough and you get back to see the terrible torture of human beings (read: SaaS bahu / Reality shows or even Rahul ka Swayamvar)

Oh yeah..?? You are a fool to think that it would be possible. Okay, time for confessions.. We watch the Saas bahu serials because we really love the men in our lives. You know, we watch and learn from the sacrifices that the pativrata women make for their husbands. Haven’t you heard what Tulsi and Parvati have done for the men in their family. Yes, you saw that too. Now shut up and let us watch in peace.

2. Reservation on laptop / internet/ facebook, specially for those whose GF/wives/fiances are addicted to Farmville
Men demand it. They need equal rights, when the food is served hot and when we all need to lie down, it is not lying down that you are still busy farming on your farm.
My friends wife one day announced, let me harvest tomatoes quickly, I will serve food.

Okay, we are not a-social like you. We have friends. More so, we have a lot to discuss. Even our sex lives. So, when you see us hooked on to the laptop, we are just finding different ways of pleasing you.
And talking about Farmille.. Dude, the world is going green. And farming is so much in fashion. Why don’t you go ahead and get a REAL farm for us. Wait, I just remembered that you are broke. You should be grateful that we didn’t ask for diamonds.. It’s just a virtual farm. Big deal..!!

3. Men demand reservation to choose shops while shopping for clothes
Ok, first we need to know why you need more than one shop for shopping of one clothes? Why do you need clothes with so many criteria? Why do you need to shop after every three weeks?
And no, we do not understand a lot about clothes, because our requirements are fulfilled in three things Shirt, T-Shirt and Pants.

Maybe that’s the reason why you are unable to patao any girl till now. Pst. Pst. You badly need a wardrobe makeover. Gah..!!

4. Reservation in judging the cleanliness of the room.
Do you realize that the reason why our books are lying around are because we want them to lie around?
We should get a say in where the things actually belong, so the towel on the cushion is ok.
The room is looking fine, ask Garfield.

*staring at you* This is MY house. Clean it or else you will be thrown out.

5. Reservation in choosing the early breakfast food.We totally and completely agree with Dr. Phyll that drinking karela juice early in the morning is good for health...but it is definitely not good for mental sanity of the person, nor will it be good for our relationship.
Also, we would like to have onion parathas in the morning with fresh butter on it. Ok, fat-free butter.

Okay.. You can cook your own breakfast from tomorrow. By the way, I like my breakfast in bed.

6. Reservation in deciding which movie to go.
Righto, see there are many good, great movies screened in multiplexes. Please don't drag us to the movies of the chocolate hero. No, we also do not wish to see Twilight, again. we know you prayed last night, I become a vampire.

You know what, you are a jerk. Do we say anything when you stare at the boobs, ass and even legs of those actresses. No we don’t. And yes, we do wish that you become a vampire. Only then we would fall in love with you.

7. Reservation in choosing the beauty products you buy on my credit card.
Seriously if your anti-ageing cream worked it would get you back to puberty by now. Why do we need 5 different bottles of hair shampoo in the bathroom and what the green Gobar in the dish kept in bathroom? Why is my hair itching?

I know you secretly went to the parlour and got a facial done. And last week, I found fair and handsome in your almirah. That too in the locked drawer. Need I say more..??

8. Reservation in getting seat on the bus.
Ok, this is a debatable issue, but we want at-least 33% reservation on the 33% seats available for woman, you see, we travel in hot dhoop to get front row seat only to get up two stops down for you. We need reservation.

Pencil heels. You love to see women wearing them. Isn’t it..?? Lets see you stand straight in them. For just 10 minutes.

9. Reservation in deciding the limit of drinking beer.It is really ok for me to drink more than a peg and drive. I am not a drunkard, but I should decide when it is ok for me to stop drinking...err...ok... I should probably stop talking now.

Yes you better. *Stern look*

10. Reservation to comment on Sidoscope
As the fighter and protector on mans right, I hereby declare 33% reservation for men on comments herewith. Go on use the comment box without any fear of the lady coming and making you stand. :P

Awwww…. My lovely darlings. You don’t have to crib. You could have easily got that. You know, we are good at heart and we don’t like to see our men getting suppressed. You can have your way in this. Just this, Okay..!!

A piece of advice (to men, ofcourse) : SHUT UP..!! Do all that we ask you to do. That way, we will all live happily..



Neha said...

I read this after reading sid'd blog and trust me I so wanted to give him the similar answers! :P

Pencil heels. You love to see women wearing them. Isn’t it..?? Lets see you stand straight in them. For just 10 minutes. =))


Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Uuuuiii Neha, go

Chandz that was....scarily amazing.... :P
and don't listen to Neha, she always complains about my post...:P

Uii...and I did get girlfriend in just a t-shirt and a half pant ok...:P

Sorcerer said...

*Comes in
*reads the post
*walks out

*kicks a coca cola Tin can on the way out.

Chanz said...

@ Neha : Dekha...

btw welcome to my blog...
and thanks for following me too.. :)

Chanz said...

@ Sid : shooooooooo...

but I'll take my shoo back coz you appreciated a woman.. :)

Chanz said...

@ Sorcy : Did u shake your head before you kicked the can..?? And did you feel helpless..?? Speachless..??

Anonymous said...

Dekh Chanz.. you're a buddy n all that.. lekin here.. i can't help but agree with Sid on some points for the following reasons
1. Saas Bahu serials are sheer waste of time and energy. I'd rather be watching IPL and cheering. "Remote kiska" can be decided mutually.
2. I dont understand why people waste so much time harvesting unreal vegetables. Come on man for Godssake there are several other things one can do on the internet, say, browsing the latest car. BTW, Fiat Linea is a sexy one.
3. I'm bored of shopping now. I dont go often anymore. Now I know why men find it boring.
4. Cleanliness - hmm.. here Chandni I'm with you. The room is either clean or the man in question will be thrown out.
5. Breakfast - well.. Butter in breakfast is good once in a while. For all other days, its karela juice.. Sid, you lose this one.
6. Girls' taste of movies is awful. But so is men's.
7. LOL.
8. I pity men when they're asked to vacate a ladies seat. Bechaare.
9. You men don't drink like sophisticated people. You can drink 5 pegs when someone else is paying.

Tavish Chadha said...

Hey bhagwan... mard zaat ke khilaaf sari bhadas nikal di yahan pe tune.... hehehe

I read Sid's post before this and I too agree reservations for men r a must... and btw if get u a real farm, am sure u will put men like us at work and start playing farmville there too... mehenat nahi karni padti naa isliye :P

Blog Link: Sensible Bakwas

supriya said...

bang on to the guy..really..!! awesome..!! "the pencil heels" concept...i loved it...i swear..!! :)

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said... girl agrees...Shivani....wuu huuu

Guria said...

I was scared to comment on Sid's blog with reservation on comments n all... But this one... girl, you rock the boat and how! :D
Great post!
I wonder what the men would do at the end of a single day wthout any women in the world!! :P

Chanz said...

@ Shivani : Grrrrrrrr...!!!!!! Dhokebaaz...!! :D

Chanz said...

@ Tavish : you bet.. You know, we have quite soft soft hands.. Obviously U do not want your women to have rough hands..I am sure you guys will do it. :P

Chanz said...

@ Supriya : LOl.. Hehehe.. :)

Chanz said...

@ Sid : Haaaaaaaa... Its just because women are good at heart.. Bachcha samajh ke maaf kiya.. :D

Chanz said...

@ Guria : LOL.. you know there is always a platform where women can say whatever they want.. It is only the guys who have to think twice.. :D
Btw welcome to my blog.. :)

Badri said...

guess there's a deadlock between the guys and the girls... How would one resolve it?!!

Readers Dais said...

Hi! Chanz,

Enjoyed reading thru lol! reservations apart, the theme Q & eplies rocked, not trying to join any team, its fun & fun ...thats all.. :)

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

uuui....kya be Guria why were u scared to comment...:P darpok...:P ha ha ha...:P

Chanz said...

@ Badri : Heheee, I wont like the deadlock to be resolved.. I love it this way.. :D

Chanz said...

@ Readers Dias : thanks a lot.. :)

laddu said...

hmmm.. i had read somewhere..u may not find it related 2 dis post but still i want 2 tell dis-
men would not lie so much if women would not ask so many questions....