Monday, November 16, 2009

Water Water Everywhere...

Unlike how a usual Sunday starts for me, I woke up quite early. Hell no, it wasn't walk this time. But I tried something different. Yoga. Umm...actually it was different than yoga too. I didn't have to do any difficult asanas. When my dad first told me about it, I was like, Oh my God. Is it really possible. You could loose 5 kgs of weight in a month by merely drinking water and consequently taking it out of your system then and there. Give me a break. I wasn't convinced. But dads know how to find their way and my dad did it too. He made me get up at 6 in the morning (don't forget it was a Sunday.. aaarrggghhh...). Very reluctantly, I went to the fitness center which my mom runs. For God's sake, please don't ask me why am I fat when my mom owns a fitness center. Nevermind that. So, I woke up and went there only to find that my yoga instructor had been waiting for me for the past 15 mins. What..?? Did he expect me to reach there before time or what. Atleast I expected him to come after I reached. Little did I know that this instructor was a cruel man and he would force to do some things which I hate dearly. 




Three glasses down. 
"Here, have another one"
"One more..??", I widened my eyes and gave him a shocked expression. 
"Yes"
Gulp Gulp Gulp Gulp. It went all the way down to my intestines. 
Salt mixed in hot water. When I am saying hot, it means really hot. That is what I had to drink as soon as I entered the hall. 




Next, I was asked to lie down on my stomach and do this. I felt nauseated after having four glasses of water. Something was going on in my stomach. It was twisting and turning. I wish I could stop but that cruel instructor wouldn't leave me. Frankly speaking, if you do these exercises without the water then it seems so easy but with your stomach full, it feels miserable. 
I was getting angry. 
And then he asked me to turn from the left side and try to look at my right feet, keeping the whole body constant. 
"Aye Aye, Sir", spat came the reply.


I did it all. 2-3 easy exercises err.. asanas. But before I could finish, I felt the need to use the washroom. I was a bit hesitant. But still I told him that I wanted to go. 
He smiled approvingly and said, "Ofcourse".


And by the time I came back from the washroom, he was ready with another four glasses of water. 
"Again..??"
"Yes"
And so I drank to the last drop. 4 glasses. 
And then followed the series of those same exercises and before I could know, I had to go to the loo again. 
And again.
And again.
And yet again.
And yes, everytime I came back, I was asked to drink another 2 glasses of water. 
Till ofcourse, the urine got converted into stool. 
And I heaved a sigh a relief. I knew this was the end and would go back home and relax. I thanked god and with a smile on my face I returned to the room. 


But I was so wrong. Again there was water. This time I had a single glass. I urgently wanted to go back to the loo. Really badly. And so I went back.
Oops. Loose motion. 
Aaarrggghhh... This was the least expected. 
I came back and had water. 
Loo. Not again. 
And not to forget the loose motion.
This time when I cleared my bowels, I told my instructor hoping that he would stop all this.
"Sir, I think I have got loose motion."
"You havent got loose motions on your own but you were forced to get them"
"Oh yeah, why not. Now somebody else has a control over my bowels". 
Perhaps noticing my shocked as well as hesitant look, he explained, "We will clean your system completely. Your intestines will be free of all the waste and the toxins. I will make it all come out. Infact, I will make you drink so much water that what will come out of your bowels will be as transparent as water". He raised his eyebrows trying to show that he was confident about it.
Not wanting to shatter his confidence, I kept quiet but I questioned myself if this really was possible. It possibly cannot happen. Never. And I raised my eyebrows too indicating the same confidence that he had.


So there I was, back with my water and the ongoing visits to the washroom. Supposedly, I was to do some exercises too. But my intestines didn't allow me to do so. And so I continued with what I was doing. Water. Loo. Water. Loo. And in the meantime, I didnt even notice that the instructor had won the battle. Transparent water came out. And I was dumbfounded. Never in my life had I seen such a thing happening. I dont want to be offensive here but the colour of the stool was literally transparent. I mean transparent. (Please people, I apologize if anybody is finding it offensive. I didnt intend to and I am trying my best not to be).


Well, finally I came and told him that it all ended well. To my surprise (yet again), he said that it wasnt the end. There was still more to go. 
Whhh-aa-tt...??
After about 6 litres of water and 15-20 rounds to the loo, I got to hear that there was still more. Thank you God, that is exactly what I wanted to hear. :(


4 glasses of water. This time without salt. I had to drink it all without stopping in between. 4 glasses. Without stopping. Sure.
I managed that too. Sadly though.
Then he accompanied me to the loo. Well yeah. He made me put my fingers in my mouth and dig into the throat and vomit. 
I had to hold my stomach and vomit. 
On top of that, the instructor was like, "you have just taken out a glass of water till now." 
"One a half glass has come out."
"Go ahead, do it"
Yuckkk
I think he was a maniac. 
Thankfully this was the end. No more glasses of water. No more going to the loo. I couldnt have been more relieved in my life.


But before he went away I asked him what was the name of this yoga. Shank Prakshalana was what he said. There was a peculiar name for the throwing up part as well but I can't really remember. 


Maybe my reactions sounded too negative but they aren't actually. I think its a good way to loose weight. 5 kgs in a month and that too with just a single class. One day of yoga and you loose weight. As a kid, I have always heard about water being the best medicine for all problems and diseases. And now I have experienced it as well. 


So go ahead and try this out. 
Water water everywhere
So much that you would be fed up..

(PS: If anybody wants to try it then I can arrange for the instructor. Well actually, my mom would arrange for one. But the medium will be through me )

20 comments:

Aki said...

I think this is your first blog that i have read completely in one go... very interestingly written.
Even i feel like trying it.

Chandni.. said...

I know why u read it in one go... coz it is of your interest (specially at this time)... ma lips are sealed.. :P

i'll call u and give u d details of the yoga... m sure you are going to love it.. :)

Ramit said...

Does this really work? I'm amazed. Even I would like to know which yoga exercise is it? Can you explain a bit more in another post please?

Ramit said...

I don't really like the throwing up part. Any other options?

buckingfastard said...

wow....u beat napoleon!! its u who fought da battle of water-loo...lolz!!!

well it was nice reading abt ur..umm..bowels..!!!

dats one cruel yoga instructor btw...and u actually attached a pic of a gal pukin to giv us da general pic...bravo!! hehe

well dat sunday mornin..i slept at 6am..after munchin god knos hw many packets of lays thruout nite...so now u kno where ur lost 5 kgs went!! :D

punia said...

dude dat was a gr8 piece of knowledge..........thx......all d best 4, wht u want 2 achieve.. :-D

chitz said...

5 kgs a month is quite an achievement..I guess the constant visits to the washroom,does pay off,finally...:)

Rashmi said...

HOLYYYY S*** this was some water treatment one can have or ask for(i wonder who asks for this tyranny blehhh anyways)

Hey, i wanna try this out as well can you please help me arrange the instructor or teacher or a (Tyrant- would be a better name)

But nonetheless....tooo good woman...claps for u.
Cheers!

Chandni.. said...

@ Ramit : Sure, i'll do that. But If you want to know more about it, you can google it. Infact you will be directed to another link if you click on "Shankh Prakshalan" in my post. The entire procedure is explained including the mechanism..
Well, there isnt any other option for throwing up. It cleans your system thouroughly. Dont worry, just plain water comes out.


@ BF: Dont make me jealous. I wish I was eating lays and you throwing up and undergoing the torture. Ok. Let the 5 kgs gain and loose scenario between the two of us remian as it was. :P

@ punia: thanks yaa. I hope that I achieve it easily.. :P

Chandni.. said...

@ chitz: u bet. I passed the ordeal and I am so bloddy proud of it. I think I will repeat this next month as well..

@ Rashmi: I loved it when you called him a tyrant. lol... I will let you know if the instructor can be arranged. Its easy to arrange for one here in Delhi. I will surely try and get one to Mumbai as well...

Ankit said...

urs sincerity would definitely pay off..

Chandni.. said...

hahaha.... i too hope that ankit...

Ramit said...

Thanks :-) You're the best.

annum said...

Your blogs, as always, are very refreshing. thanks for sending it :)

Chandni.. said...

thanks for saying that annum... it feels really good when you people say this.. :)

thanks a ton...

Renu said...

very interesting and informative too..would love to know more about it.

Chandni.. said...

Sure Renu... You can google Shankh Prakshalan and there will be a lot of info on it... And if you need ma help then you can always get in touch with me..

anjali said...

yaar...sahi mein!!!! I think I will definately try once drinking luke warm salted water..... if one session can reduce 5 kgs, then its blessing for someone like me....you know how much i need these "weight loss"

Shivani said...

Oh listen mann.. err.. Girl... I have to tell you what an interesting discovery your blog is. Especially because the first post I read was the one about "Shank Prakshalana" causing you to lose 5 Kilos (something I'm so dying to do).. Unbelievable.. And secondly, you write well.. I'm going to follow your blog now. Do let me know if the instructor can be arranged in Delhi..

Chandni.. said...

@ Shivani : thanks for saying that dear. And sure I can arrange for an instructor here in delhi. I will give u the details soon...